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IS IT TRUE
Contributed by
Tiffyo4
on
Thursday, 13th April 2006 @ 07:58:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
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Is it true that you loved me
is it true you cared
is it true you promised you always be there
is it true you are the one i can trust
is it true you we're the one who messed up
is it true i loved you with all my heart
is it true i'm the one who ened up with the broken heart
is it true we started out as friends
now you left me for good and thats where the pain began
is it true you still care
or is that a lie you just wanted to share
is it true i'll miss you when your gone
hopefull cuz right now i don't miss you at all
Copyright ©
Tiffyo4
... [
2006-04-13 19:58:11] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: IS IT TRUE
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 13th April 2006 @ 08:50:05 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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demanding comments isnt very poetic at all. but since you asked for it, you need to work on grammar and keeping it professional because misspellings and incorrect grammar plagued this poem. anaphora and repetition, what does it add to the poem? meaningless words for a format it seems in this. i think you could have added more power and emotion in this, as of now it just seems like a bunch of words. this seems like a stream of consciousness write where its just jumbled up words and phrases used for rambling thoughts. some of this didnt really even make sense, which for a simple poem added some complexity...but i think it is more of a writers error or trying to make it complex with no support. i didnt see any reason for the repetition in this. at the end you could have at least said something along the lines of, "i know its true that...." as for the concept, portrayed very weakly. questions lack a lot of substance, especially when they seem to be asked for no apparent reason in a poem. why should the poetic community value this poem at all? if you cannot find a reason for it, then i dont think its worth the post or worth demanding a comment. |
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Re: IS IT TRUE
(User Rating: 1 ) by drtylilsecret on
Thursday, 13th April 2006 @ 11:24:46 PM AEST (User
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*claps*
to the previous commentor of course, not the poem. it's about time someone says something else besides "very honest, great job".
kudos to essentially9, i second the notion.
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Re: IS IT TRUE
(User Rating: 1 ) by jada on
Thursday, 13th April 2006 @ 11:45:19 PM AEST (User
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i think the person who wrote the constitution for u overdid it just a bit i think it was okay it seemed to me like you wrote it in a rush like you didn't know how you felt about that person like you didnt care ? (am i right? if i'm not thats ok too)don't worry good reveiws for poetry come in good time .advice don't demand commenting |
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