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poem 21

Contributed by Lady_Ravyn_Bloodstone on Tuesday, 11th April 2006 @ 10:38:43 PM in AEST
Topic: self-harmpoetry

The blade I crave,
Calls to me.
Begging me to give in,
On a rather constant basis.
I have begun to tune it out,
But it once again,
Becomes an impossible feat.
No matter how hard I try to resist,
My strength weakens everyday.
The hellish nightmare of July 8th, 2002,
Still haunts my memories,
Threatening to once again take over,
Control my life & lead me to harm.
These battle wounds I have accumulated over the years,
They have yet to cease hurting,
And begin to heal.
It is like they are freshly made,
Never healing.
This life I've lived,
Grows pointless,
Even more so with each day that passes by.
Each day that passes,
Has me wondering...
Why am I still here?
What is my purpose for being here?
Happiness was never really in my grasp,
Was never really there for me to try to grasp.
What a life Lady Fate has handed me,
For I grow quite wearisome of it.
This life holds no real pleasures for me,
Other than the pleasures of the flesh.
My dark mistress,
The High Lady,
The Snow Queen herself...
She continuously calls out to me,
Beckoning me to return to her.
To be one of her many lowly,
And worthless servants.
Kissing her icy toes upon one's knees.
She is cruel and harsh,
But this is how things must be.
These cuts upon my wrists,
Slowly allowing my pain out as well as my life,
Hurt & burn.
Better to have or be in physical pain,
Is it not?
Physical pain does not last for too long.
Not usually forever like emotional does.
My wings of freedom are ripped from my back,
As I merely wince in pain.
The Snow Queen laughs,
Her laughter sounding like icicles.
She will care for me now,
If she even does at all,
Which is rare.
She is the Snow Queen,
Vain & self-centered.
Greedy & cold.
Jealous & hateful.
My true world,
My true realm that I live in now.
My life is,
Once again,
In the hands of my cruel mistress,
Death's lovely wife,
The Snow Queen herself.

Copyright © Lady_Ravyn_Bloodstone ... [ 2006-04-11 22:38:43]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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