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IS IT SO WRONG
Contributed by
Tiffyo4
on
Monday, 10th April 2006 @ 12:47:36 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
Is it so wrong that i wanted to kiss you
even though i know your with him
i held back my thoughts from you
only to see what would have when i did it
maybe you felt the same or it was just me
i felt the tension like it was a ball of flameing heat
i always get butterflys when you come near
but won't do anything because im to scared
if you only the truth of how i feel
would it matter , would you even care
just once i wish you were here
just to hear your sweet voice would make me laugh
or make me cry dreaming of you
as if you were an angel from the heavens above
just dream is all i can do until you make the first move
OR I DO
Copyright ©
Tiffyo4
... [
2006-04-10 12:47:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: IS IT SO WRONG
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Monday, 10th April 2006 @ 12:56:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| nice write, :-) |
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Re: IS IT SO WRONG
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 10th April 2006 @ 04:00:56 PM AEST
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Really Really nice.
I like the feeling. It reminds me of myself.
But at least I know she's not with him. Not really, why do I want to make me feel better. She might be with someone, but not with a boyfriend.
Anyway, I like your poem a lot. |
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Re: IS IT SO WRONG
(User Rating: 1 )
by trini on
Monday, 10th April 2006 @ 09:03:10 PM AEST
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good write.
quite powerful, i really enjoyed reading it.
Keep up the good work
-Trini |
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Re: IS IT SO WRONG
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 10th April 2006 @ 11:28:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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First of all, you are displaying one of my greatest peeves. Please, please, please turn of the caps when you write your title. It doesn’t make your poem stand out nor does it make anyone want to read it more if it was in a normal font. If anything it makes people not want to read it simply because it is not very professional to write in all caps.
As for the poem, it was ok. There were a few spelling mistakes, but that’s ok because we all do that. Also, the poem read somewhat choppy and the over all consistency lacked smoothness. However you did get the message across affectively. Over all this was a decent read. Keep writing. (And please don’t write your titles and teasers in all caps, it’ll only make you come off as more professional!)
~D.S. Hammoulton~
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Re: IS IT SO WRONG
(User Rating: 1 )
by aegurly on
Tuesday, 11th April 2006 @ 08:49:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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nice write hey check out
THE SICKNESS
by aegurly under lost love
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