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THE BATTLE
Contributed by
Adelle
on
Wednesday, 5th April 2006 @ 01:57:18 AM in AEST
Topic:
drugabuse
|
every day I battle
inside of me this devil
this demon and destroyer
the voice of the other-
these words I do speak
these words you will read
is not the voice that now speaks
it is the voice of the other inner me
the voice devilishly consuming me
to pains and aches of misery
and many years of this I have suffered silently
alone in my dark soul
sad and miserably cold
fear and unbelief set inside of me
never to go away, remaining still in me
this voice this torment
this enemy and demon
I sit in the darkness of my soul
completely and utterly alone
this demon tells me to tell no soul
for no one would comprehend or help
so every day,
I continued to eat this way
only crumbs of few
and working it off, quickly relieved, “fhew”
cant let food take me away
it will kill me anyway
so in the darkness of my thoughts
I miserably become more twisted and lost
many years pass by
and the battle I continue to fight inside
for the other inner me
this one of that now speaks
knows of my great divinity
yet those fears
of my current and past tears
haunt me of the torment I don’t want to remember
the abandonment and hurt
and the loud words
spoken to me I am not smart
yet I know its wrong
and for my trust God does long
can I give him this control?
Can I let it go?
But every day I constantly battle and fight
eating then crying cant keep it inside
to the gym to the bathroom
no one would understand this horrifying doom
cant give it up, cant be alone with all that food
cant allow it to within me consume
fear of those extra pounds
kills me inside and out
but fear of being sick
unhealthy and depleted
destroys my inner beauty I still have
kill this demon, I want with anger and hate
I cant stand this everyday misery and pain
but today I sit here
as my stomach hurts beyond repair
God what have I done?
Oh what have I done?
Finally I utter the words
that inside so badly hurts
and like a little child I feel
oh, God cradle me still?
Copyright ©
Adelle
... [
2006-04-05 01:57:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: THE BATTLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by ilovelillbj on
Wednesday, 5th April 2006 @ 03:31:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
What an emotional poem... Its so horrible you feel like this and worse, have been made to. But you're here today still battling..and that's such an amazing feat. Battle just a little harder everyday but know you don't have to do it on your own. There's always someone out there to help you but you have to find them. Please don't deny yourself.. the deamons can be silenced. Thank you for sharing such private thoughts with us, it must have taken a great deal of courage.
x sarah x |
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Re: THE BATTLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Wednesday, 5th April 2006 @ 08:05:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well done, good expression of turmoil, and frustration :-) |
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Re: THE BATTLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by kiss4roq on
Wednesday, 5th April 2006 @ 01:05:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I can see your emotions flowing through this poem. Its heartbreaking. Great Write. |
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Re: THE BATTLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hautebush on
Wednesday, 5th April 2006 @ 11:40:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I wish to comment on the poem and on you. You are a very good writer. Rarely do I read poems here which evoke such agony of soul. You have done this admirably. I look forward to the poems you are sure to write about your happiness. Emotions are sometimes hard to express... you did good. Please remember that you are in control and you will win this battle and you will soon write a poem that will bring a smile to all your readers. Hang tough and please keep writing. Hautebush |
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Re: THE BATTLE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alina on
Wednesday, 19th April 2006 @ 06:01:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I totally understand and I think you might enjoy my poems, although our writing style is different, the pain and feelings are the same.... hugs
ALINA |
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