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Ghost in the river
Contributed by
Somnium
on
Tuesday, 4th April 2006 @ 05:41:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Rasping
I draw a breath
that takes me an hour
just to breathe in
I summon up
the strength it takes
while my life leaks from my side
and I roll into the river
Of the bridge I fall
and white water fills
my vision
I roll with the current
turning it red
I am pleased to rasp
my last breath here
and leave a corpse for
them to see
My mouth fills with
water
lace with my own
life wine
My vision gets darker
and on the shore
people point
not at me
never at me
but at the birds
around me
They never pointed at me
that's why I keep rolling
keep bleeding
keep dying
in this river
again and again
till someone sees me
Copyright ©
Somnium
... [
2006-04-04 17:41:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ghost in the river
(User Rating: 1 )
by ThePhoenix on
Tuesday, 4th April 2006 @ 06:57:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very dark.Loved it. |
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Re: Ghost in the river
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 4th April 2006 @ 07:37:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Know this feeling very well. Good write |
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Re: Ghost in the river
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lilbabe on
Tuesday, 4th April 2006 @ 10:02:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| a good poem, something i could relate to |
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Re: Ghost in the river
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lilbabe on
Tuesday, 4th April 2006 @ 10:02:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| a good poem, something i could relate to |
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Re: Ghost in the river
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 5th April 2006 @ 06:15:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is well done. I think the clarity of format, the use of well-enunciated images, and the choice of line breaks all went into making this pleasing to read, and the theme is well handled. Nice one!
Andrew |
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