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Poem
Contributed by
Xealot
on
Sunday, 2nd April 2006 @ 05:19:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Ignorance is bliss,
But my lips blow a sweet kiss,
A story that you will never know,
A story of truth, love, and hate.
For this story will bring down nations,
From the east to the west.
For I curse the strong,
And help the weak,
I am the one you shouldn’t fear,
But I am also the one you should hate,
I have seen plenty,
Yet love is still a miss.
The life I dream if nothing but a lie,
The tears I cry are the tears of dreams,
Life isn’t a mirage of happiness,
But I flood of sadness,
Life is a challenge.
But standing on a cliff,
I see the absence of life,
The void of the world,
And death the rocks below,
Yet I slip into this void.
Slip into the world,
Slip into death,
Slip into peace,
Slip into the end,
Slip from fiction into reality.
By: Andrey Sokolov
Copyright ©
Xealot
... [
2006-04-02 17:19:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mild_Tempest on
Sunday, 2nd April 2006 @ 06:55:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Doesn't seem like a "first" poem. But you could work on your structure and organization. Somethings don't make sense and other maybe you could put in chronological order. |
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Re: Poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Sunday, 2nd April 2006 @ 10:28:12 PM AEST
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I really didnt see anything wrong with your poem
I liked it ,, welcome to ypdc |
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Re: Poem
(User Rating: 1 )
by wolfman on
Monday, 3rd April 2006 @ 06:07:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC I hope that you will enjoy being here as much as we do in having you.
This was a rather insteresting first post, it starts out, with the first two lines rhyming, but the rest of them dont, not a big problem, the poem was a bit surreal but good.
I did enjoy reading this poem, made me take a different look at things, try and expand your writing styles, doo keep it up. Be well and God bless.
Wolfman |
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