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The Man Who Invented Trousers
Contributed by
faiton
on
Friday, 31st March 2006 @ 05:18:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
George Bryan Brummell went down to his garden shed
It was autumn 1820 and it was raining
George was an inventor of sorts
Tinkering in his shed was his true joy
Playing with his lathe and chisels and screws
He really wanted a Black and Decker power drill
But they hadn’t been invented yet
And George was in a hurry to die penniless in a French asylum
George was an inventor of sorts
Not a great inventor
But an inventor of sorts
He was probably best known for a pair of shoes
For walking on water
But they didn’t work very well and people drowned
And we have boats now anyway.
So fame avoided George like feet should avoid lawnmower blades
But on that wet autumn day in 1820
George Bryan Brummell dared to poke a toe into the Flymo of history
A perpetual motion machine in the making
It doubled as a corkscrew
Brummell’s mind was tampering with the impossible
Yet he dreamt of being a John Logie Baird or Alexander Graham Bell
But they hadn’t been born yet
Which is why he was to die penniless in a French asylum
Another screw here, a drop of paraffin there
A wallop with a claw hammer
A puff of smoke
Flames
An explosion of sorts
Big sorts
George called the fire brigade
But neither phones nor fire brigades had been invented yet
And George wished that he was dying penniless in a French asylum
The smoke cleared
It took some days
But the smoke cleared
George Bryan Brummell ventured back into his garden shed
It wasn’t raining anymore
Which was good because the shed didn’t have a roof
Or walls
Just ash and a handsome pair of Khaki slacks
George Bryan Brummell recognised them immediately as trousers
The word trousers hadn’t been invented yet
But George knew it would just as soon as he had died penniless in a French asylum
George Bryan Brummell died penniless in a French asylum
Twenty years after inventing trousers
Did that make him a pantaloony?
Copyright ©
faiton
... [
2006-03-31 05:18:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Man Who Invented Trousers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 31st March 2006 @ 06:04:46 AM AEST
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Did that make him a pantaloony? lmfao!!!!
I've been asked in the past where do i get my ideas for poetry?
I pride myself in my imagination but this tops anything i could dream up!
I loooove this crazy stuff.
Excellent.
J. |
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Re: The Man Who Invented Trousers
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Friday, 31st March 2006 @ 07:05:54 AM AEST
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WOW, just loved it, great story telling.
-J |
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Re: The Man Who Invented Trousers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 31st March 2006 @ 01:38:07 PM AEST
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Old Beau himself eh?..That was a unique piece of entertainment,thoroughly enjoyed it,lol.
I reckon he should have invented a system for profitable gambling.If there's more like that on the way,I'll be looking out..
Den |
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Re: The Man Who Invented Trousers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Friday, 31st March 2006 @ 08:36:37 PM AEST
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As entertaining as how young Albert Einstein invented the sparkling beer by splitting the beer atom, although not as apocryphal. Engrossing.
Spike |
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Re: The Man Who Invented Trousers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 16th April 2006 @ 09:12:07 PM AEST
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Captivating, whimsical and nonsensical (is that a word?).
Nevermind a reasoned thought it rhymes to what George Brummell sought ... to "die penniless in a French asylum." I had a real fun time with this one. Thank you. |
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Re: The Man Who Invented Trousers
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lilly-Quill on
Monday, 22nd May 2006 @ 05:56:27 AM AEST
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Talk about nonsensical~. We believe that if men have the talent to invent new machines to put men out of work, then they have the talent to put those men back to work. As such, does this make humanity mechanical?
Rather ingenious, whimsical, and unique muse~!
Lilly-Quill |
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