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together
Contributed by
landsmith2001
on
Sunday, 26th March 2006 @ 06:22:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
To rise in a place not so far away,
Been resting through the day,
Old land surrounding us,
Knowing land.
Land that has seen a thousand falls.
We wake to the glow of the sun, as it leaves us for today ,
over the old oak tree,
Where deer graze in clouds of bluebells.
No city, no human invasion to this tranquil, balanced land,
Feel the peace the harmony, being part of it as its scent eminates to our waking place,
Gently blowing the fabric of our hide,
inviting us to be a part of something far more wonderous and miraculous,
We belong, our make up is all around us.
And long to fizzle into the position in time and space we are meant to be.
With the love of a lifetime sharing in this abyss of universe and endless time.
A moment of togetherness.
We step out onto the lush wet grass,
friends come around and the evening is blessed.
On the patio of our old stone roost.
A glass on the table and a foot in heaven
Copyright ©
landsmith2001
... [
2006-03-26 18:22:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: together
(User Rating: 1 )
by Claire890 on
Sunday, 26th March 2006 @ 06:25:26 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| it's 'layered.' good write. |
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Re: together
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kiela_Rox_Mi_Socks on
Sunday, 26th March 2006 @ 06:50:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hi pretty damn good. I really enjoyed reading this poem. Continue writing even though its ur first keep writing. U'll probably superise ur self at how good you'll get.
Care |
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Re: together
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 29th March 2006 @ 08:25:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is quite good for a first attempt. You have the ability to light up your writing with the proper imagery, and while you'll need to keep writing to get the smoothness of flow and touch, there's still plenty to hold this together. Keep at it! I'll be interested to see how you progress.
Andrew |
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