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Weaknesses
Contributed by
crimson_regret420
on
Saturday, 25th March 2006 @ 07:14:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Cold hearts and words to match,
Iron doors with not a latch,
Escape is pointless as is this love,
Take this pain and store it far above,
Within the skies I will hide,
Shrouded by clouds my tears have dried,
My armor is now a little bit stronger,
I can fight this life a little while longer,
The sun is now bright and shining,
But I cannot see the silver lining,
Lost in the dark, I find I am,
A scared and timid little lamb,
Beneath my eyelids horrors lie,
Bruises leak a blood red cry,
Hoping no one will notice the blow,
These are things they can never know,
My skin is not so thick anymore,
In this blackness I fall to the floor,
Alone I let myself feel free,
Free to dream of you and me.
Copyright ©
crimson_regret420
... [
2006-03-25 19:14:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Weaknesses
(User Rating: 1 )
by drtylilsecret on
Saturday, 25th March 2006 @ 08:06:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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oh wow, painful write, every line seemed to have meaning behind it, great job, i loved it, and hope it all gets better.
~natalya |
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Re: Weaknesses
(User Rating: 1 )
by moses on
Saturday, 25th March 2006 @ 08:36:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Beneath my eyelids horrors lie,
great line, great poem.
Well written and keep it up,
-moses |
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Re: Weaknesses
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheKid on
Saturday, 25th March 2006 @ 08:59:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Awesome write... Really know how to express your feelings. |
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Re: Weaknesses
(User Rating: 1 )
by slogan on
Saturday, 25th March 2006 @ 10:22:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great write...jh |
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Re: Weaknesses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 25th March 2006 @ 10:30:20 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| you have talent. that makes you better than 90 percent of this site. excellent poem and a wonderful usage of talent i must say. i loved the rhymes, the structure of this poem, and the rhythm. you have good concepts and a strong ending. a poem with a happy ending, sort of a twist i must say. especially from the previous stanza. i must remember you, for those few days i actually can stand reading poetry =] |
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