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The Death of a Deaf Dog.
Contributed by
iodinelove
on
Wednesday, 22nd March 2006 @ 02:34:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
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DOWN ROAD
dirty coarse forest on each side
FURTHER WALKING
dust behind kicking screaming car approaching
LOOK BEHIND
red reflected sun on tinted glass
DEAF DOG
trembled white blue eyes
SCREAMED
left sounding shriek and blood
STAINED COAT
broken neck leg jaw breached stomach
WOMAN CRIES
blue eyes shattered searching scared
SOFTLY RAINS
whispers woman mourning cease
LEAVES LIFE
circles moon hears god
REJOICES
Copyright ©
iodinelove
... [
2006-03-22 14:34:30] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Death of a Deaf Dog.
(User Rating: 1 ) by worldsenigma on
Wednesday, 22nd March 2006 @ 03:21:03 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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while i like the setup...having the 3 ways to read the poem...the poem itself can use a little more work. i think u spent to much time on organizing it rather then making it flow. |
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Re: The Death of a Deaf Dog.
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Wednesday, 22nd March 2006 @ 06:16:35 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like this, it's pretty different. I think I prefer it all together as one, as it makes more sence, yet is still pretty disjointed. I like it.
The other two ways are alright, but I think that the poem as a whole makes it seem written better.
I also like how it doesn't flow. It seems right.
Anyway, good write.
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: The Death of a Deaf Dog.
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 31st March 2006 @ 01:03:45 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I thought your idea was really good... but I found the poem hard to read. My eyes were drawn only to the lines in capitals and I felt like I was straining them when trying to focus on the lowercase words..
Otherwise, good idea. |
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Re: The Death of a Deaf Dog.
(User Rating: 1 ) by onceandagain on
Sunday, 16th April 2006 @ 01:17:58 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I've never read a poem in this format. It was different, and I liked it. Very fresh and new. The story was a very sad one, though. I hope this wasn't something that really happened, as I'm an animal lover, and I hate when things like this happens. Good write, keep up the good work. |
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