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Pearl Necklace
Contributed by
Lancaster
on
Tuesday, 21st March 2006 @ 04:54:08 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
With a flicker the flame dies out
As with the thunder, the lightning is sure to follow
One must remember what this life used to be like
And which tongues are safe to swallow
In an instant
A literal second
Moistened, fattened, padded for our own protection
To soften the blow
As the cannon balls are fired in our direction
With a whisper the voice fades
If you come nearer
And softer
The worries float away
If you are truly precious, then kiss me now
Before I died
Yesterday
________________
___________________
Copyright ©
Lancaster
... [
2006-03-21 16:54:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pearl Necklace
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 21st March 2006 @ 08:47:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I truly love the ending of this. I can actually relate to it, in a funny way, thought pronbably not as it was intended in the write.
I think the end is very clever.
I really like the way you changed the style after the first stanza. That is hard to pull off without making the poem suffer, but you did well. I like it.
Great write, it's nice to see things a little different, at times.
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Pearl Necklace
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 21st March 2006 @ 11:50:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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The tilte drew me in-
and the work was pinnacle,
though the last stanza threw me a bit.
Billy
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