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My Only Listener
Contributed by
EvaLastingRose
on
Monday, 20th March 2006 @ 06:10:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
My eyes are the window to my soul (as what some people say).
Well if that is true, then I shut my eyes and hide my insides.
Shut my eyes to stop the tears that fall.
For they are the amount of times I say I hate myself within.
It is hidden deep within.
Under my skin.
So deep that I can’t even realize my exact feelings.
I have guts to spill but no one is trust worthy.
It hurts so badly.
It’s a pain that won’t ever go away.
Like a life in my stomach that is trying to get out,
But is afraid of what the external world will think.
Until I can get free I’m stuck hidden.
The hate I cry is the only way that I can tell if I’m still alive.
The oceans in my eyes are what relive the pain.
If you look hard enough into my eyes you will see all the suffering I’ve been through.
When I hurt on the outside, I keep the pain on the inside.
When I hurt on the inside, I show it on the outside,
By covering it with worked upon fashions.
And if I complain about the pain it will never go away,
It will haunt me forever.
If it isn’t treated then it will never go away.
This will never take my pain away.
I say that I can’t express the tears I cry, so I tell you all about my pain.
Maybe if I complain to no one, then, maybe, they will listen.
Makeup, beads, all the clothes, is my expressions of tears.
That says it louder then I ever will.
One day it will slowly fade away for no one to hear.
Like a falling tree in a forest with no one around.
Will any one hear it crash?
Will anyone hear me fall?
Attention attention!
Any one?
Because I do, over and over again.
I’m tried of being the piece of glass that’s stuck insides my eyes.
It’s reflects what life means to me.
They all play with my paper heart.
My fragile heart is the only thing that I can rely on to tell me the truth.
You break it,
You cut it,
Until it bleeds.
Every time it bleeds I cry.
The tears are all the “I hate my self’s” that I can’t and will never say out loud.
Even though the seasons have changed, you still seem to be there.
Somewhere you left that everlasting mark.
I need you there sometimes to hold,
But you don’t even know me anymore.
I don’t even know me any more,
And I am the only person I can count on to be there for me.
If I forget all about our memories will you go away?
I feel like I need to scream.
The replacement is what keeps my mouth shut.
Soon my first.
If one more tear falls for the not forsaken heartbreaker, then will I lose the meaning of love?
All the ones that are supposed to love me forget to.
I am selfish.
I am a self-seeking.
But I am sorry.
I have my own ways that I can count on.
Would you believe me?
Would you even think about the truth that passes my lips?
Or look at the tongue that moves as uneasy in my mouth,
As the thoughts about me bobble in your head?
That same mouth wants you so much more than you want me.
I believe in me.
Don’t worry about the words you have seen in my eyes.
Don’t be scared of me.
But don’t read the paper.
Because I can write more than I need to about the “I hate my self’s”,
To the paper that will never listen.
Copyright ©
EvaLastingRose
... [
2006-03-20 18:10:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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