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Words

Contributed by kitty_cat on Monday, 20th March 2006 @ 05:37:41 PM in AEST
Topic: LoveRemembered



i never knew i wanted it
never knew I yearned it
they were words;only words
only two simple words
i thought you hated me
we thought we'd never speak
for the rest of eternity
but i guess we were wrong
i guess i was wrong

You will never know
what you did to me
you will never know
the pain you caused me
you will never know
how i suffered
under my steel veneer
how i wept for you
how i longed for you
you will never know
how alone i felt
i remember that room
that dark chilled cell
where i sat in silence
alone
and i mourned for you
mourned for me
thought of good times
thought of old
and longed to be by your side
but you did not want me
thrown aside
like your ragdoll
back to your barbie
you go
leaving me in the shadows
In the corner
In the dark
I tried to change
remodel myself
make you want me somehow
but you didn't even give me a look
you didn't even glance
i remember all those times
i tried to rekindle all those feelings
bring back all those memories
but you turned your back
all of my dreams gone
my life torn to shreds
brought to ruins
you never looked back

all i had then was my cold cell
my dark corner
my own ragdoll

but things changed
a little ray of light
suddenly shone into the room
stunning me
almost blinding me
i tried to run away from it
not wanting to experiment
with what would lie beyond
not wanting to let go
not wanting to get hurt
just wanting to stay in my room
my cocoon
my corner
and think of the life
i could have had
think of a life
someone else was living
the light called to me
intrigued me
but i tried to look away
just as the light
would persuade me to go to it
you would tear me back
whisper in my ear
a chance of you returning
paralysing me
caught between the old and the new
the dream and the unknown
i hated you for that

but now i can go to that light
run to that light
surround myself in it
because of your words
i'm not scared anymore
i'm not doubtful of whether
things could change between you and me
not wishing things were different
dreaming of things that could have been
with your words i have now realised
I am better than that
I don't need you
I don't need you
Not now, not ever
Because I am a woman
With a heart and a soul
With family and with friends
But most importantly
With a future
I have now fully realised what my dream
Really is
To live life
how i want
not on your terms
not on her terms
on mine
I don't need to wait anymore
wait for something that will never happen
because now i know that I'm better than that
and i don't need you to want me
need me love me
i don't need you to hold me
kiss me caress me
i don't have to wait around anymore
because i now know my true worth
and i'm worth so much more than this.
So much more.

And all because of those two words
Those simple words
I'm sorry.




Copyright © kitty_cat ... [ 2006-03-20 17:37:41]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Words (User Rating: 1 )
by jdawg on Tuesday, 21st March 2006 @ 03:04:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
great write, alot of deep parts in there everthying real and from the heart. keep up the great work. god bless and best wishes.
~Jusint L.~




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