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Onto The Roses
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Sunday, 19th March 2006 @ 09:17:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
I'll fall onto the roses,
Then bleed the hurt away,
Let the thorns pierce my skin,
And watch the day fade grey.
Wrap me up in the petals,
And smother me with scent,
Drop me in an early grave,
My life is almost spent.
Lock the coffin as you leave,
Then bury me alive,
Forget me as you walk away,
I don't want to survive.
So, rid your hearts of memories,
And don't recall my face,
Burn the pages where I wrote,
They no longer have a place.
...I'm almost caught in shadow now,
So wrap me up in flame,
The blood is burning in this shroud,
And I'm dying, all the same.
At least this way I know the ground,
Will be a friend to me,
And every spring above my grave,
Red roses there will be...
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2006-03-19 21:17:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Sunday, 19th March 2006 @ 09:55:52 PM AEST
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Yes the poem is somewhat morbid, yet that focus adds clout and potency to the message you are conveying in the write. The imagery is also very powerful.
Style is very effective for this poem.
Well done,
Will |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ineedanap on
Sunday, 19th March 2006 @ 09:59:32 PM AEST
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| I loiked it alot. You conveyed the feelings so well. Wonderful write |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Sunday, 19th March 2006 @ 10:25:57 PM AEST
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Excellent imagery. Deeply morbid. Hope it helps you work out whatever is hurting. Death is macabre and certainly never the answer. Well written piece, Philly.
Hugs,
Rita |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 19th March 2006 @ 10:44:36 PM AEST
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Sweetie,
All morbidness aside ... this was positively brilliant!
Oh my, you have talent oozing from every pore hun. Believe
me when I say in all honesty, "I wish I had written this!!"
This was compelling from the very first word the magnificently
placed last. Awesome in it's creation.
I think this to be one of your very best!!
--always here for you
*hugs*
~Breezy |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Sunday, 19th March 2006 @ 11:15:03 PM AEST
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wow this is a masterpiece philly!! beautifully written.. very sad and morbid but i love it.. its awesome.. this is an awesome write and i love the flow.. great job philly girl
JENNI |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by LoveStruck_Hippie on
Sunday, 19th March 2006 @ 11:19:59 PM AEST
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I must say Philly, I am in full agreement with everyone else her. This is truly a masterpiece.
Thank you so much for sharing your talents your words and kindness touch people in the most profound ways.
*hugs*
~Shannon |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 20th March 2006 @ 02:06:26 AM AEST
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Wow! that was morbid.
Excellent write and imagery.
You set out to write a morbid poem and did it splendidly.
J. |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 20th March 2006 @ 04:28:05 AM AEST
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loving the comfort of this..
And every spring above my grave,
Red roses there will be... |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Monday, 20th March 2006 @ 08:31:21 AM AEST
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Feelings of pain and hurt. WOW......this was a differ, write. In a sense morbid, it is. You gave lots of images. Seek deeper, and hope you will find a better answer that over comes.
Brew~ |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by mischild on
Monday, 20th March 2006 @ 08:39:24 AM AEST
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Beautiful expression of inner self
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by chaos78 on
Monday, 20th March 2006 @ 09:47:36 AM AEST
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| this is a beautiful poem i can feel the emotion |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Thursday, 23rd March 2006 @ 01:39:07 PM AEST
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As morbid as it is, it still ends with hope that you will be remembered, even though you say you want to be forgotten. Though you say:
Forget me as you walk away,
I don't want to survive.
You end it with:
And every spring above my grave,
Red roses there will be...
I like it, it was beautiful, Phil.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 30th March 2006 @ 09:09:54 PM AEST
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(((((((((PHil))))))))))
This is brilliant , and has me shuddering!! The imagery in this write is incredible, I hope you are not sad, though , you have a beautiful spirit!!!!
Hugs
LG |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 31st March 2006 @ 12:47:25 AM AEST
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| This poem has got a great flow to it! Thanks for sharing, I love it! |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by JGB on
Sunday, 9th April 2006 @ 11:12:16 AM AEST
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I really like your work.
This one is awesome. |
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 10:41:43 PM AEST
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Burn the pages where I wrote,
They no longer have a place.
Such powerful lines here Philly...This is a very strong and emotionally raw piece. It's full of a dark despair, and there's a finality to your words that is chilling. Love it! Great job here.
Scorp.
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Re: Onto The Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by Xbxg32000 on
Friday, 15th September 2006 @ 03:55:34 PM AEST
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This is amazing. I love how you kept the tone at a certain angle until the end, making the final line wrap up the poem so beautifully. The vocabulary and power of some sentences really make this wonderful.
I loved it. This is fantastic. |
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