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Candle wax tears
Contributed by
little_genna
on
Tuesday, 14th March 2006 @ 08:13:01 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Alone, here I sit,
In a room, candle lit.
Dwelling on the thoughts that once were,
Wondering how this last year became such a blur.
I opened up to you,
You held me when I was blue.
Made me feel so safe when I was vulnerable,
Always there to give me a cuddle.
Alone I sit,
Finding it hard to admit.
I want you back even though you hurt me,
Yet I have doubts about that coming to be.
I have fears of seeing you,
I wonder if you do to,
Did you find what is missing?
I am ready to listen.
Alone, here I sit,
In a room, candle lit.
Dwelling on the thoughts that once were,
Wondering how this last year became such a blur.
Can we honestly say we'll be just friends,
Would we really make amends?
I still love you,
Do you to?
Alone, here I sit,
In a room, candle lit,
Dwelling on the thoughts that once were,
Wondering how this last year became such a blur...
SJ
Copyright ©
little_genna
... [
2006-03-14 08:13:01] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Candle wax tears
(User Rating: 1 ) by Nothingness on
Tuesday, 14th March 2006 @ 11:01:20 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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That was really good and i hope you the best but from my experiance its really hard to be just "friends" after loving someone but i hope it is different for you |
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Re: Candle wax tears
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostrelic on
Tuesday, 14th March 2006 @ 03:51:11 PM AEST (User
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a good write with true emontions |
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Re: Candle wax tears
(User Rating: 1 ) by bethwood on
Tuesday, 14th March 2006 @ 04:23:26 PM AEST (User
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i liked the way the rythum changed alternately with each stanza. clever! |
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Re: Candle wax tears
(User Rating: 1 ) by gmcse8 on
Wednesday, 15th March 2006 @ 09:33:36 AM AEST (User
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Even though I know where this poem comes from I don't think I will comment on that. I want to comment on just the poem itself as just a poem and nothing else. First you did it again with the title. I love your titles. I really do, I think some of them are inspired. This one like others of yours that I like really evoke a vivid image in my mind. I couldn't wait to see how well it worked for what I was about to read. I very much liked the repeating refrain. "Alone, here I sit, In a room, candle lit,". Evocitive, is what comes to mind when i read that repeating refrain, pictures in my mind form from the words. The words feel good on your tongue when you say them, the syntax just rolls so easily. I thought the last two lines of that refrain were well done too. Of paticular interest was the part about the year being a blur. Couldn't help but think, "Time flies when your having fun". My favorite part of the poem was the next to last stanza, the sixth one. It was poignant, a heart felt question and I as the reader Ithought it the focal point of the poem. Here am I, this is what I have felt, but finally, here is what I really want to know. Bob
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