You look me up and down, as I stand centre stage,
Vunerable yet safe, before you start to engage,
In the usual lecture, telling me to loose weight,
Everday I hear it, as you determine my fate,
But the sad thing is I listen to you,
I take it all in, believe its all true,
And thats when I start to do stupid things,
Stuff Im not proud of, that tug my heartstrings,
And once Ive started its so hard to stop,
You stand in the background happy, as you watch my weight drop,
The pressure is mounting, tens not enough,
I am so tired, my lifes become tough,
But then you turn around and worry about me,
Why the change of heart, do you finally feel sorry,
So i slowly start, to pile the weight back on,
But now I feel like a failure, my mindsets all wrong,
You know its your fault and now you feel bad,
You've noticed a change inside me depressed, sad,
I dont like all the pressure you putting on me,
Why is it so important to you that I be skinny,
Now not only my weight as changed, my personality has to,
Its slowly fading away, as I am to you,
And as I start to eat more and excercise less,
Im becoming myself again, not that old mess,
But for some reason you go back to your old ways,
The pressures back on, more intense as it stains,
My heart, my soul, evertything I was,
My minds so confused, everthing I am is gone... Lost,
So I go back to my old ways to, the cycle starts again,
Your taunts on my mind, like a runaway train,
Is this neverending, cause Im destend to fail,
Why is it so hard for me to reach my holy grail,
Its because everyone has a different perception,
Of who I should be, of pure perfection,
But why am I so vunerable to what it is you say,
Its because I look up to you, however sad that it in a way.
Copyright ©
-why_not_let_me_live-
... [
2006-03-11 02:05:49] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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