|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Flight (Into Collision)
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Thursday, 9th March 2006 @ 01:16:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
surreal
|
I am but the shadow of a whisper in the night
Trembling from the last blow of a secret inner fight
Careening through the heavens like a soon exploding star
My future out of focus, the distance all too far
Amid tornado winds, the thunder dins
The night becomes alive
As rain begins, time knows no end
When even clouds have cried
Hurling through the night sky holding only to a dream
There's no point in asking why nothing is as it once seemed
When a galaxy collapses and spawns a hurricane
It comes as no surprise, that everything has changed
When the winds adjust, from the dust
New stars are being born
The old will die, gone from the sky
Before the light of morn
Rushing into the collision that I’m intended for
I pause not for decision as there’s not one anymore
For Fate and I cannot deny the tug of gravity
Predetermined is my place in this reality
With eyes wide open, always hoping
That destiny will be kind
There’s no question now, I know somehow
The choice will not be mine
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2006-03-09 01:16:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Thursday, 9th March 2006 @ 06:05:02 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| awesome write, well done |
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Sunday, 12th March 2006 @ 11:26:37 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| wow that is awsome |
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 13th March 2006 @ 05:26:23 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
An excellent well written piece.
J |
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Tuesday, 14th March 2006 @ 05:51:39 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hiya Snem,
A well turned exposition on destiny, life direction and the minimal input we seem to have in how things turn out (at least we know where its going ie lots of daisy pushing).
As Max Power (aka Homer Simpson) once so deftly stated " just strap yourself in and feel the G's!"
Spike |
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 15th March 2006 @ 10:49:54 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really enjoyed this piece, the topic is one that has always facinated me....time fate and predetermism versus determinism and choice. Often we may think we have a choice, but very often we are dealing with powers way beyond us. Perhaps our attitude toward things is a choice of sorts.
Well done,
Will |
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 15th March 2006 @ 02:31:45 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is among the deepest writes I have read authored by you. I am completely in awe of this one, for the same reason you placed this in the surreal category. I am more struck by the differences in perceived reality from one person to the next then my own perception of it.
I thank you for this look into your reality, and wish you many more wonderful works such as this.
Brilliant and Inspiring!
- SCM |
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by DarkFaerie on
Wednesday, 15th March 2006 @ 09:14:09 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
For Fate and I cannot deny the tug of gravity
Predetermined is my place in this reality
Wow Silent, beautiful powerful write. |
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheSpiritx on
Wednesday, 15th March 2006 @ 11:33:21 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I chose you specifically to comment on... now I remember why.
The content of this poem is great. Nothing too heavy and still enough to feel the ride with you.
The form is what gets me. It's great! Allow me to tear it up here...
Your bold stanzas make exceptional (and pleasing) use of internal rhyme! I love it!
You followed suit with AABB in the regular stanzas and still kept the poem spontaneous with the bold sections that seemed to chose their own rhyme scheme. For instance, the first bold stanza was ABAB and the second was ABCB, which was really not even important after the internal rhyme. (I am a sucker for complex rhyme scehems.. lol)
You finished the final regular text stanza up with some pretty good iambs that allowed the poem's content to be conveyed clearly with a non-forced feeling to it. Very nicely done.
All in all, I dig this piece. Thanks for posting. :D |
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 26th March 2006 @ 01:30:07 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
*applauds emphatically*
So brilliant, so beautiful, Snemmy. And hints of sadness.
This seriously brought tears to my eyes. "There’s no question now, I know somehow
The choice will not be mine"
Incredible. Thank you ever so much.
I'm reading that again!!!!
|
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 26th March 2006 @ 01:31:32 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This should be set to music. |
|
|
Re: Flight (Into Collision)
(User Rating: 1 )
by ButchHoward on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 09:15:17 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Brilliant in form and feeling. An accurate commentary which illuminates the fact that we are all just along for the ride. I felt like I was "Hurling through the night sky" ....."hoping That destiny will be kind." I especially love the first line....
Butch
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
