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A NIghtmare in D Flat
Contributed by
Rakerman1999
on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 11:51:56 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Come listen to a mad man's dream
Of whispers and a muffled scream
In still of night when fast asleep
From lurking shadows hear them weep
In lowest voice , a siren's spell
A devil's song sent straight from Hell
That chills the bone and wets the eye
And tells the man he's soon to die
Crescendo grows as do his fears
The sounds of agony he hears
From damned of soul in flames torment
And spirit's wails of loud lament
They sing his name in Hellish rhymes
To warn of pain and tortured times
As Satan sways with wand of fire
And leads this dark and dreadful choir
" My God My God ! " the man does pray
But God has nothing much to say
Just shakes his head and turns his back
" 'Twas much to much this one did lack
In character and integrity...
Oh Satan , get thee behind me..."
While on his knees he pulls his hair
And knows there is no one to care
Comes now the burn, a final gasp
Lucifer's touch , an iron grasp
With terror's rage he fights and shakes...
And at that moment he awakes
With thrashing limbs and soaking wet
In waves of fear and pools of sweat
Aware his bill for sin is due
And this, a dream that might come true
L. Carling c2006
Copyright ©
Rakerman1999
... [
2006-03-08 11:51:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A NIghtmare in D Flat
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 11:57:34 AM AEST
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ooo thuis is chilling.
throws roses left handed, duck so they dont hit you in wrong spot, hee hee
me |
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Re: A NIghtmare in D Flat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 12:15:38 PM AEST
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To start with I really like the title, it drew me in. The poem is very powerful and the imagery is fantastic. Timing is good with this being the Lenton season. Also, the poem offers a warning; or perhaps a lesson regarding repentence of our sins before it is too late.
Very well done sir
Will |
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Re: A NIghtmare in D Flat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 12:22:30 PM AEST
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ooo chilly is right i love this.
you always amaze me with your writes.
awsome job
hugs |
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Re: A NIghtmare in D Flat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Brasco on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 05:54:04 PM AEST
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| Well done, the flow of the poem is what sold this one for me. The lull of it relates well to a dream and still manages to keep the dread of a nightmare. |
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Re: A NIghtmare in D Flat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Tuesday, 14th March 2006 @ 06:02:11 AM AEST
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Bad dream, dear? or wake up call, indeed. Well penned Mr Carling, as usual. Feel the burn!
Spike |
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Re: A NIghtmare in D Flat
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 23rd March 2006 @ 11:24:38 PM AEST
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Wow this gave me goosebumps Larry. I love
your poetic style you just draw the reader into
whatever you write and make the reader feel
the pain and despair as exhibited in this
poem or the love and hope shown in other
writes. You pull off both styles flawlessly and
that is why you are one of my favourite poets
on this site. I can't even begin to describe the
poem itself it was all so well-rounded and
gets full marks from me.
*Buys him a six-pack*
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: A NIghtmare in D Flat
(User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on
Wednesday, 29th March 2006 @ 12:45:33 AM AEST
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| Did you do this with another title? anyway the title interests me.. why D flat? I don't know anything about music.. just nightmares. ;) |
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Re: A NIghtmare in D Flat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Merry on
Sunday, 7th May 2006 @ 01:50:08 PM AEST
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Larry you've hit the note of nightmare right on key with this superb write. I know you like the dark side of poetry as well as the romantic and you have a brilliant way with words no matter what topic you choose. But now I'm afraid to go to sleep......
Always keep writing.
Daisies for the King
Merry |
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