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The Hand
Contributed by
kabeer
on
Wednesday, 1st March 2006 @ 02:01:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Alone I Stand, Alone I Fall,
Unhearing, Undebating a coercive call.
Silence in the night, silence in my mind,
Conceived thoughts, concealed behind,
Appears a Hand, slow yet busy,
Endearing me, eager to bind.
The hand gives me direction shows me light,
Enchanting, enlightening my muffled nights.
We share thoughts, dreams,our lives,
Unwebbing words under small hives.
Not across the deep seas we see,
Nothing beyond the skies we want,
Yet destiny seemed to be mocking me,
With a deliberate but blissful taunt.
And then one day, the Hand speaks,
It wants to grow, wants to fly, wants to leave,
Unconcerned about the love it made me beleive.
Enigmatic moments of mourning hearts,
Wanted, unwanted the story parts.
And now sometimes I wonder,
Why we wish, why we hope, why we care, why we think, why we wonder,
why don't we just stay away n surrender
Because like I said, I said
Alone I Stand, Alone I Fall,
Unhearing, Undebating a coercive call.
Copyright ©
kabeer
... [
2006-03-01 02:01:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Hand
(User Rating: 1 )
by OzChick on
Wednesday, 1st March 2006 @ 02:49:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This had a very melancholic feel to it. Very expressive and impressive for a first write. Well done.
~Jenny~ |
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Re: The Hand
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Wednesday, 1st March 2006 @ 05:59:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| very good at expressing yourself in this one |
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Re: The Hand
(User Rating: 1 )
by dougnut on
Wednesday, 1st March 2006 @ 08:24:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wonderfull Heartfelt Expression
Great Read
Great write , one would never know this was
your first poem Very Good looking forward to
reading more.
Dougnut |
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Re: The Hand
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 1st March 2006 @ 11:16:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Good job. I am a little confused. Is this your first attempt to write, seriously. I am not arguing with that comment. I just find this a tad bit too advanced for someone's first time. It is very hard to imagine that this is your first attempt.
If it is indeed your first attempt than I assume the rest of your work will within no time evolve into greatness. I just think this may be a little too good for anyone's first work. Myabe it is the first work you've claimed.
Good job!
- SCM |
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