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Hate potion No. 9
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 01:38:23 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
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she comes to me while killing flies
angels crying in boxes pine
she keeps me in her sighing lies
while i ingest her pills and wine
you might say i seem confused
and time will see me break
i just think i'm being abused
while feeling deja vu mistake
praying mantis lover's fate
missing individuality
soon we both will turn to hate
then death becomes reality
creativity's dead and gone
she dries the paint inside of me
i hope i won't be smothered long
so i can be on the side of free...
dw
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2006-02-25 13:38:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hate potion No. 9
(User Rating: 1 )
by PuppyChow on
Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 09:30:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| it is a crime to read a poem and not comment. i feel this poem is very good, so why people havent commented on it yet is baffling. i digress, however... i love how you're not afraid to jump around and play with words... ethics, morals, breakfast cereals. Break the rules, rebel, break them hard to please yourself. ... sorry...tangent there. anyway, i really love it. |
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Re: Hate potion No. 9
(User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on
Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 12:54:20 AM AEST
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"praying mantis lover's fate" how honest and raw. Is she killing you? How I am begining to question the meaning of strength. To me the definition was simple: Love requires being broken, strength requires love. But how much must we ingest before we die of the poisonous venom? You expressed how bitter love can be so accurately as always, but what gets me is your self-inflicted over indulgence in this disease.
In the last stanza you admitted to your recognition of her disasterous effect on you. "Creativity's dead and gone
she dries the paint inside of me
i hope i won't be smothered long
so i can be on the side of free"
you recognize that she's poison and you refuse to set her down. Honesty is the anticdote my solemn friend. Honesty turns all love gray.
An astonishing piece from a brilliant mind!
~take your lying eyes with you when you decide you're leaving~weepingprophet |
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Re: Hate potion No. 9
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 14th March 2006 @ 07:29:40 AM AEST
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great flow and rhyme.
i enjoyed this greatly.
wiz |
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Re: Hate potion No. 9
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 11th June 2006 @ 10:39:55 PM AEST
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This is a really unguarded piece from you Dwayne...very emotive, no-holds-barred write. Well done; hope things are better for ya these days.
Scorp. |
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