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A Dream So Real, I Had To Touch It
Contributed by
ripper_something_unusual
on
Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 07:16:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
As I lay here and guess the name,
Of the one that closed my eyes,
The ceiling cracks and showers me,
With fragments of its tile,
And as the dust slips in my mouth,
I start to crack a smile,
This random name begins to form,
And shatters my disguise.
I sit up straight and hear the click,
Of a thousand vertebrae,
A finger touches on my cheek,
Warm as a summer’s day,
And in some silly turn of fate,
This digit falls from grace,
Its nail digs in and scratches me,
And rips away this place.
When my eyes open tragically,
The room has gone away,
That sandy taste,
This scratched face,
All seem to be a haze.
I slide out of my covers,
My gaze becomes a stare,
That name becomes so clear now,
That name belonged to her.
Copyright ©
ripper_something_unusual
... [
2006-02-21 19:16:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Dream So Real, I Had To Touch It
(User Rating: 1 )
by HellsLibrarian on
Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 07:51:16 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Well, I can't say I've ever had a dream like that, but having read your excellent poem, I no longer have to. I'm not sure I catch the meaning, but I really like the way it flows and your use of a large vocabulary. Nice work. |
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Re: A Dream So Real, I Had To Touch It
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 08:08:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
very vivid and powerful writing. I like it a lot and thank
you so much for sharing it. I thought these few lines
were incredibly well written:
And in some silly turn of fate,
This digit falls from grace,
Its nail digs in and scratches me,
And rips away this place.
all in all.. it's a great piece. Hope to read more soon! |
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Re: A Dream So Real, I Had To Touch It
(User Rating: 1 )
by sararose1950 on
Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 08:28:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great imagery of a lucid dream- thank you for sharing. Peace and Light |
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Re: A Dream So Real, I Had To Touch It
(User Rating: 1 )
by potpiegrrl on
Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 09:58:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great imagery :-) |
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Re: A Dream So Real, I Had To Touch It
(User Rating: 1 )
by eggflipper on
Wednesday, 22nd February 2006 @ 12:52:41 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Flows beautifully.
She must have been very powerful. |
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