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grandad fancies me?
Contributed by
moon-woman
on
Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 06:34:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
well mum came downstairs
on a fine winters day
to announce that old grandad
was coming to stay
she had a smile on her face
but a secret to keep
for where good old grandad
was going to sleep
"oh darling" she said
"my dear, my sweet.
i have now for you
a jolly old treat!
for grandad has no-where
to rest his gray head
so ive decided that he
can come sleep in your bed.
"in my bed!" i cried
"and he's coming today!
this house is small enough as it is anyway!
where am i going to sleep?
there's no room anywhere.
i'd hurt my back on the floor,
and my neck on a chair.
oh mother! you brute!
you have not thought this through!"
"i have" she replied. he can sleep there WITH you.
with me? with me? my gramp in my bed?
An old pervy grandad who's practically dead?
i was worried as hell.
i mean scared for my life.
what if he mistook me
for his dear late wife?
what if he said "sweet cakes, please fetch me my pipe"
what if he called from the toilet "i'm ready to wipe!"
what if he hugged me at night
whilst sucking his thumb.
my blind deaf old grandad.
all because of my mum!
i really resent her, for what she has done!
my whole weekend living in fear, and no fun.
when im thinking about it its just not a fair deal.
i mean what if he falls for me, like proper - for real?
oh dear god. there's a knock at the door
nomore bed all for me anymore.
"mee darleeng!" he cries, as he gives me a kiss.
does he actually fancy me? i cant handle this.
"oh father!" mum calls. "you'll share lucy's bed!
dont think wed leave nowhere to rest your old head!"
he smiles at me. the fear has begun!
i mean why poor old me? what have i ever done?!
"oh no dear," he calls. "no need for old me!
for i only planned, love, on staying for tea!"
we both laugh together, his voice worn and hoarse.
but you know, i still think he's a pervert . of-course.
Copyright ©
moon-woman
... [
2006-02-21 18:34:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: grandad fancies me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobb-goodjob on
Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 06:50:46 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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OMG!
I LUVD IT!
IT WAS HILARIOUS! IM GLAD ITS NOT A NARRATIVE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
WOW! YOUR A GOOD POET.
ARE U BRITISH?
N/E WAYS, SEND ME A MESSAGE.
GOOD JOB,
bobb
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Re: grandad fancies me?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 22nd February 2006 @ 10:38:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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And there I was thinking how did she get away with a peado poem in the humour section?!!
Very well written, pacy to read and a nice twist at the end.
J |
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