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''Untitled''
Contributed by
drtylilsecret
on
Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 04:41:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
So sick of crying,
Yourself every night to sleep,
Hiding from the world,
You've dug yourself too deep
You wonder if it's always
Gonna be like this, this way,
Cause if it really is
You'd rather turn away
Turn away from all the problems,
From this melancholy life,
The misery you're smothered by,
The never-ending strife
Alone in a world,
So sinister and dark,
Realizing that life's a journey,
That's too painful to embark
You hate yourself for losing hope,
Torturous, becoming weak,
Suffering, and restlessness,
Is the soul really yours to keep?
We can all let go, you think,
To the heavens, watch it soar
It's not meant to be on earth,
Maybe there's something else in store,
Possibilities, excuses,
For why life has been so cruel,
Irate, angry,
That you've been turned into a fool
No more hiding, you've burned the mask
That you've been wearing, pretending there is hope,
So the next time someone saw you,
You were dangling from a rope
Because you were sick of crying,
Yourself every night to sleep
Hiding from the world,
You’ve now dug yourself 6 feet too deep
Copyright ©
drtylilsecret
... [
2006-02-18 16:41:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by cherrycoke on
Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 04:46:28 PM AEST
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I like it. Nice twist at the end. As far as a title, choose a line or phrase from the poem that interests you and make it the title.
cherrycoke |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by DarkFaerie on
Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 06:16:54 PM AEST
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| wow, i know just how you feel. wonderful write. keep up the good work : ) |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by SmileSkinDeep on
Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 10:51:45 PM AEST
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Good write, like they said ^ the ending has a nice twist, in a rather ironic way...its good how you're up front about these things. As for the title...perhaps Stuck In This "Life"...somethine along the lines of that. Don't use that though, come up with something all your own.
~April |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by shortcut on
Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 11:29:31 PM AEST
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| I really like this poem, it has an excellent point to it! Life is too short to wallow. We have to do so but must pick up and move forward, the road ahead holds more fun than you can see, go see!:) |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by Leslie on
Monday, 20th February 2006 @ 04:18:35 PM AEST
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| I become so sad when reading poems such as yours. You write very well but the emotions make me think of my daughter who nearly died because of thinking like this. Even though life is tough there is so much in the world to love and be grateful for. Blue skies, oceans, good food, friends, family, health, work. The list is really endless. All you have to do is look. |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by Renoir on
Thursday, 23rd February 2006 @ 09:20:10 PM AEST
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| Soul Keeper? I loved this poem! |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by hearts4pain on
Friday, 24th February 2006 @ 10:00:16 AM AEST
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you should tittle the poem....
let go
or something haha idk. creepy poem...
happens every day. |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by dh_guitarist on
Friday, 14th April 2006 @ 08:06:18 PM AEST
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| hey i really enjoyed the poem cause that is how i am thinking. I have thought about that for a while and now i really don't want to lol. it makes it seem to cold.... i really loved your poem though |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by dh_guitarist on
Friday, 14th April 2006 @ 08:06:19 PM AEST
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| hey i really enjoyed the poem cause that is how i am thinking. I have thought about that for a while and now i really don't want to lol. it makes it seem to cold.... i really loved your poem though |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by Forgotten_soul on
Tuesday, 25th April 2006 @ 06:22:31 PM AEST
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| wow, it realy is like my poem "lies", I think that is so sad, some people will go that far. I hope to not have to. |
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Re: ''Untitled''
(User Rating: 1 )
by tearstained_soul on
Thursday, 16th November 2006 @ 02:00:49 AM AEST
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hey beautiful,
thanx for commenting on my poem! i thought it'd be nice to do the same for you, only more than just one for you b/c you were nice enough to comment on mine for no reasen other than u wanted to :) thanx lots
as for your poem the last two stanza's were my favorites but your poem is really good and hits home with a lot of people on this website! keep up the good work hun!
britt |
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