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Suicidal mind
Contributed by
Patterz
on
Tuesday, 28th January 2003 @ 05:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
(Carve)
That smile on
your face
Oh happiness
you taste so sweet
(actually its rather bitter when ur mixed with the steel)
a (bitter) sweet escape
(the price you pay to be perfect)
makes you oblivious
(makes the world oblivious)
like a pair of dark
sunglasses on a sunny day
(they can't see your screaming)
everyone knows who you are
because your so incredible
(you aren't)
they love you and your
life
(why don't you?)
-{P@'o3}-
Copyright ©
Patterz
... [
2003-01-28 17:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Suicidal mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by kegs04 on
Tuesday, 28th January 2003 @ 09:05:26 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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hey I like the peom and the style is used, I am by no means any kind of pro, but i liked the way you expressed debating thoughts in the brackets..shows multiple thoughts, interesting!
great write!!
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Re: Suicidal mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 2nd February 2003 @ 09:22:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This was really good I enjoyed it immensely I've been there lots of times. Hang in there I hope writing poetry helps.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Suicidal mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by tease_whizz on
Friday, 7th February 2003 @ 04:30:53 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| this is a really powerful poem - you really get a sense of conflict inside your own head. i can relate to the feeling of another voice which is really just another one of your own. hope you find the strength you need, its out there, i promise. keep writing, you're talented. KT xxx |
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