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confusing in its being
Contributed by
lostrelic
on
Friday, 17th February 2006 @ 12:47:24 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
a faded breeze the taste of death slips off my scornful tongue
the ringing of my church held box this tune already has been sung
seeing my past like a faded dream confusing in its being
a collections on nightmares and screams living yet unseen
a picture lies with broken glass a moment of reflect
of a childhood that didnt last filled with trial and neglect
but that was then my life was now a story with out reason
the way i act and the words of fact i am lucky they dont charge me with treason
for things i say or the goverments sick way of treating us all the same
but really not sure how to run or even end this game
i stand in line to pay the respect of the man i once had been
but i will leave him here with out a tear and start my life again
Copyright ©
lostrelic
... [
2006-02-17 12:47:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: confusing in its being
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 17th February 2006 @ 02:43:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very nice, great description. Flowed fairly well and much unlike my own writing, it rhymed lol, I never could do that well. A pleasure to read. And I hope to see more.
-Cassy |
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Re: confusing in its being
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 17th February 2006 @ 02:59:38 PM AEST
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| Yes. and also, to know that each day we can have a brand new start... we are always being renewed.. onward march.. hugs.. raquelleah |
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Re: confusing in its being
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Friday, 17th February 2006 @ 10:13:50 PM AEST
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| Powerful stuff Relic, thanks for sharing, Peace, Laura |
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Re: confusing in its being
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 12:18:01 AM AEST
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i can relate to confusion...perhaps too well.
i think the structure here is fitting... the content is light and airy with strong suggestive tones and moods.
some interesting choice of words and expressions. i particularly enjoyed the 3rd line.
some beautiful imagery and sound rhymes.
This piece seems to hold many personal and social interpretations..
Thanks for sharing. |
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