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Lost Hope
Contributed by
justme03
on
Thursday, 16th February 2006 @ 05:37:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
**********************************
I spend my life dancing in the pouring rain.
Laughing at all this endless pain.
Last chance running to keep the rain coming
and I never want it to stop.
Heart beat drops.
I fall to the ground, but that’s okay,
I’ll just stand up again licking my wounds.
My strength will return soon.
I live my life walking on broken icicles.
Death follows me, a sickle in its firm grasp.
Flirting with the reaper, calling out his name.
Taunting for him to come closer and begging
for him to catch me. I’m not insane and yet,
far from mundane, I wouldn’t want this
curious tender touch of fear to go away.
This is my life, falling on broken ice,
dancing in the rain, and feeling the pain.
Shying away from the light that is embracing me.
Taking tentative steps away from the things for
which I long. What went wrong? Why am I
so scared of being happy? With every word I say,
I take another step away.
Pushing you out and hiding behind this wall of lies
and doubt.
I waste my life sprawled on the pure white snow.
A cookie cutter snow angel as my disguise,
deceiving your eyes, feeding you lies.
Starting to feel numb and paralyzed, immune to my
own lies, for they deceive me too, to the point that
I believe them too. I could be so much better.
I’ve lost the hope that once was so strong.
Self doubt is proving my heart wrong.
Perhaps I should call it a night. Perhaps I should
give in to this mental fight.
I’m not who I thought I was, definitely not who
I was meant to be.
How can I be true to you when I have seemingly
lost. . .
I while away my life, wasting away behind a mask,
knowing that when I’m happy, the feeling won’t last.
My heart knows what it wants, but my head feels otherwise.
This mask is hiding my face because I’m ashamed of all the lies
and I’m running away. I can’t seem to look you in the eyes.
I see you chasing me. I want to lose you, leave you behind
but I also long for you to catch me, kiss me, and tell me it is alright.
I fill my life with burning wood and it feels so good.
Burning away foreign feelings until I’m filled with nothing
but empty promises to myself and broken dreams I am
to never mend. This face haunts me. I will it to go away
splashing the water smooth reflection into ripples
of momentary glimpses of hope; recollections of a life
when I knew how to cope. Hollow heart beating out
a slow shallow rhythm and I cry to the heavens,
“Why must I be faced with the very demon of my depression?
Must I will myself to face myself before I can carry on?
Must I find my own beam of light before being handed
a torch to rekindle the lost hope. . .?”
~Kortnie~
Copyright ©
justme03
... [
2006-02-16 17:37:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by Doriens_Picture on
Thursday, 16th February 2006 @ 05:44:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is a great write
and i know how it feels to be completely emotionaly draind by something
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Re: Lost Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Thursday, 16th February 2006 @ 05:52:03 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| well done , a very good read |
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Re: Lost Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Thursday, 16th February 2006 @ 07:17:36 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is a really great poem. I can really relate to this too. Thank you for posting this.
I hope things get better for you.
Take care.
Scott |
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Re: Lost Hope
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetpanic on
Thursday, 16th February 2006 @ 07:54:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| wow..this poem is amazing ...u poured out your deep feelings all into it ...beautifully written!!! 5/5 |
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