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my love
Contributed by
outlaw_mutiny
on
Wednesday, 8th February 2006 @ 08:05:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
you said that you'd lay with me in a field of roses
where everything goes right and nothing imposses
but would you lay with me in a field of weeds
could you cater to my simple needs
maybe i dont love you now but baby i someday will
and if your feelings should ever change ill be loving you still
so would you rub my back and ask nothing in return
if i should have to go away would the fire in your heart forever burn
we're taking a chance on fate knowing that she will not fail
as long as we let her guide our sail
see the these things we do for love are nothing new
and im only asking for your love cause im giving you mine too
Copyright ©
outlaw_mutiny
... [
2006-02-08 20:05:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: my love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lady_Daisy on
Thursday, 9th February 2006 @ 12:13:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
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All over its ok, two things; you need to work on your metaphors, they are a bit lame. And your English. For example Capitalize your “I's”. Use spell check, that can help a lot! I have always said, if you want someone to respect your work, use proper English. Otherwise to a person it will seem YOU don't even respect your own work.
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Re: my love
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 9th February 2006 @ 09:50:10 AM AEST
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| I liked your poems. Iprevious comments stand true but it has depth of feeling and no truer questions asked of a relationship....Great writer...mike |
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Re: my love
(User Rating: 1 )
by AnaBanana on
Thursday, 21st September 2006 @ 10:52:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| You once commented on one of my poems and said I should check out your stuff. Well, here I am, finally have the time to read poetry and I absolutely love this one! How beautiful and it's the first one I read today and it reflects the way I'm feeling right now, only I didn't realize it until I read this. So thank you. |
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