|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Crematorium
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Sunday, 5th February 2006 @ 07:51:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Tortured tomorrows bleed into endless yesterdays
Eons collapse into an eternity
As thorns rip at my flesh
Like poison corroding my veins
Storm clouds gather as I softly wither
Rain is falling endlessly from a black void
Empty eyes staring as unseen talons spread
Succumbing to a wintry coldness
Crimson dripping as reality beckons
Partaking in archaic communion
Fingers stricken by plague claw cadaverously
Sweetened wine burns my throat
Like the aching nothingness
That fills endless, aflame deserts
Face turned to a burning forest
Hands left outstreched in fruitless prayer
Even as skin sloughs off
Dressed in ashes like hope never was
Discordant weeping like clouds of grey
Frozen in timeless mists
Playing my final symphony
My wrist the never ending solo...
[And if I've tried so hard
Then why is it never enough?]
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2006-02-05 19:51:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th February 2006 @ 09:12:17 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| wow! Definitely a keeper in my book. nice write. ^^ |
|
|
Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th February 2006 @ 09:28:57 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| A very dark and potent work! I enjoyed your patterns and the way this flowed. I do, however hope that the symphony does stop for you. Pain is a wondeful muse that opens up hidden doors of elegant, dark, and mysterious metaphors and analogies. Pain, however is always a one sided and very selfish muse. GREAT JOB! I hope all is well. |
|
|
Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 6th February 2006 @ 12:07:55 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Well my dear friend this was well worth the wait. I'm glad to see that u posted it. I'd pick out my favourite verse, but I simply can't cos it's so perfectly penned from start to finish. It's captivating, powerful,dark and brilliantly written. I'm a real fan of ur poetry Joel. May ur pen always flow fluently with such remarkable poetic verses. Enjoyable and well worth the read as always. Keep it up my dear friend.
*warm hugs*
~sue~
|
|
|
Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 )
by SensitiveSoAbused on
Tuesday, 7th February 2006 @ 08:34:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This was very well written, my dear friend. I pictured it nicely!
I think it is the best up to and including the line about archaic communtio.
I love the lines about the burning forest, and the ashes.
And these lines:
Playing my final symphony
My wrist the never ending solo...
are just superb! I think they would suffice as a perfect ending.
*claps you on the back all chummy-like*
good good! |
|
|
Re: Crematorium
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken-Suicide on
Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 01:54:34 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Nothing will ever be enough |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
