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Amongst the weeds
Contributed by
moses
on
Sunday, 5th February 2006 @ 05:30:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Life moves at a high speed.
Its collected with shadow's counterparts that only feel greed.
Sometimes what we want is not what we need.
Where will my path lead?
I know I'm not ready yet to plant my seed.
Life's filled with those who try to decieve.
For those lost and gone, we grieve.
The hungry mouths we work to feed,
and we search to find our Rose amongst the weeds.
We all want to believe,
and only accept perfect as what we should acheive.
Why do we set the bar so high, where we all try
but few succeed?
The standards we never exceed,
We live by our Creed
and take heed of those who try to mislead.
And no matter who you are, we all bleed from the thorns of our Rose-
Amongst the weeds.
Copyright ©
moses
... [
2006-02-05 17:30:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Amongst the weeds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th February 2006 @ 09:38:41 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Ususally I get agrivated with a poem that continues the same rhyme sound repeatedly. I have to say this has been the first and I expect only exception to that. Mainly because of your analogies. I was highly impressed with the last line in both stanzas. .........Searching for a rose amongst our weeds......HOW SIMPLY CLEVER! The final two lines are equal in strength compared to many last lines I have read in a while. In fact, compared to most they are well superior. This is a great write, despite the repeated rhyme sound.
- SCM |
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Re: Amongst the weeds
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 6th February 2006 @ 12:24:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I found this to be an outstanding, very clever and perfectly penned piece of poetry. So much truth speaks out from ur write. You've done an awesome job with this.
The standards we never exceed,
We live by our Creed
and take heed of those who try to mislead.
And no matter who you are, we all bleed from the thorns of our Rose-
Amongst the weeds.
A remarkable and very well executed write. You are a very talented and gifted writer who has such a flare with a pen. Well done.
*warm hugs*
~sue~ |
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