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MY face.
Contributed by
Butterflygirl40
on
Tuesday, 24th January 2006 @ 11:22:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Hey my name is ace and I feel like a airspace.
I want to backspace and run to base.
I once caught a bass and took it to my birthplace.
I walked over to the bookcase and then tied my bootlace.
I once was brace by my own briefcase.
Then I went and closed the case ,and then chase my birthplace.
I Think I am disgrace to everyone Because I have been displace.
I think I have a dogface and a doughface.
I do not like my face I want to burn it in a fireplace.
I am off to a footrace so I pace the floor.
I have such a paleface and I want to go some place out in space.
I run up the staircase and pack my suitcase and then go back and trace my birthplace again.
I want so bad to have a vase with a whiteface.
Copyright ©
Butterflygirl40
... [
2006-01-24 23:22:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: MY face.
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 24th January 2006 @ 11:29:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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It makes mucho sense 2 me. Don't change a thing.
Luv it.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: MY face.
(User Rating: 1 )
by OzChick on
Wednesday, 25th January 2006 @ 12:54:31 AM AEST
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You've used a tricky rhyme scheme here and you've done pretty well with it.
The individual lines that don't seem to make sense, when taken in the context of the whole poem, fit the theme perfectly.
Good write, Butterflygirl.
~Jenny~ |
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Re: MY face.
(User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on
Wednesday, 25th January 2006 @ 11:05:00 AM AEST
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...a lot of rhyming...good rhyming...your repetition of, birthplace, struck me...place of birth...the place where we felt the most acceptance, the most Love, the most significant, the most innocent...that place should embody our present perfect sense of Self...our essential worth has not lessened...our incorruptible value has not diminished...the only difference is, being human, our caregivers, our self-image-givers, got bored and weary...the newness wore off and they started lying to us so they wouldn't feel so guilty...no blame here...their parents did the same to them...
...I Love the rock group "Enigma's" song, Return to the Innocence..."...the return to our "birthplace..."
...a painful, but lovely write...
...thanks,
ron...enigma |
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Re: MY face.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 25th January 2006 @ 12:09:53 PM AEST
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| Great write! keep them coming. |
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Re: MY face.
(User Rating: 1 )
by amaya_h_k on
Thursday, 23rd February 2006 @ 01:57:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like it, it a lot of fun. |
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