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me as i am now

Contributed by crazy on Sunday, 22nd January 2006 @ 11:31:05 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems



ok so i tryed to kill myself if you read my other poems i think you could tell that i was really depressed i cut up my arms and cut my wrists but m still here.but this is just off he top of my head so it will prob. be sloppy but comments are always wanted enjoy.

here i am
same ol person
now i know what i have to do
to be true
to myself and everyone around me

to all i was sad and depressed
to them now i am fixed
but inside
i still hide
how i feel

i showed a little bit of who i was
i got myself into a lot of crap i didnt want
my friends got told to stay away
my music is gone
my poetry i have given up
the real me can never be

i lost my first love
he made a bad choice
everyone hates him but me
now i have a new boyfriend
so old yet so young
do i truly love him or is it a show
i really dont know
my heart still lies with the one
who i cant have
more then ever

i go along with what they say
to try to make them see
an image that just isnt me

how can i change into something they want
when it was me who asked for help
why cant they just see that i will
never be happy.
my school grade droped
because i was trying to find me
inside the black darkness in my heart

now i sit in my doctors office
tell them lies
how i feel is not what i say
i just want to be lelf all lone

my invisible cloke is gone forever
now everyone sees
who i am
a sad depressed little girl who is scared of the world
in which see trys to survive in

knowing what i do now
i will never show my true feeling
because when i did i locked my self in a CRAZY house

now its time for me to go and show the world
what they all want to see n side of me

a fake 15 year old girl who is happy with who she is








Copyright © crazy ... [ 2006-01-22 11:31:05]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: me as i am now (User Rating: 1 )
by TREBOR on Sunday, 22nd January 2006 @ 02:46:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I donna what to say

Pretending to be happy can't be write,sure you've had lots of 'experts' trying to help

People on this website are there if you wann talk and some of us have been thru similar s..t

Take care and get in touch if u need to talk


Re: me as i am now (User Rating: 1 )
by romance_pyro on Wednesday, 8th February 2006 @ 12:09:21 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
It's never right to hide who you are but being suppressed for being yourself only makes things worse. Living a double life leaves its marks on you and when you can be who you are and you decide who your heart truly lies with let me know. I may not be your bf but i will always be that one guy you can always trust. But for now i guess i'll leave and go back to the place where i can do some good.


Always your big bro Mike....Maybe not forever, but just now, it felt so right.


Re: me as i am now (User Rating: 1 )
by hearts4pain on Saturday, 25th February 2006 @ 07:34:16 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
i hate how you feel right now.
its the worst feeling in the world.

its like people are annoyed by you because you are faking to be happy.
you tell them how you feel and they are annoyed by all your "complaining"
you tell them what you really think and they put you in some ***** mental hospital.

babe im sorry you have to go through this. point is. you will get through it. i know it sucks but the truth is..you will deal with lots of ***** for the rest of your life. but even if you have only a few little good things that happen..just try and focus on that!

try putting everything aside..even thinking..and just try getting good grades. that will boost your self esteem! it will. i did that and it helped!

if that doesnt work then. take something you love doing. and do it and feel good about yourself.

have a girls night. and just have a good old time with lots of girl talk and vent it all out.

secondly. get a journal. write in it 4-6 times a day. after about 2-3 months. read it.

it will be strange to read what you use to think. it helps you recover!

please message me if u ever need to talk.

remember you ARE loved wether you feel it or not.

i do understand how you feel. i do.




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