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Love Curtailed
Contributed by
wizard
on
Saturday, 21st January 2006 @ 08:26:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
A day of sadness to behold
About a love which can't unfold
The one of which dreams are made
Again - a love that love forbade
Though our love has been curtailed
And my loss has been unveiled
For you my heart will always beat
For love like this will not deplete
Still, within my dreams you stride
For there your love I'm not denied
And you're by my side until I wake
My favorite view...I still can't shake
Goodbye my love..I wish you well
I love you like no poem can tell
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2006-01-21 20:26:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Love Curtailed
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Saturday, 21st January 2006 @ 09:00:37 PM AEST
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| Great story told, and you expressed the feelings quite clearly with your last couplet. I liked the rhymes you picked in some of these lines, they were quite unique to get your point across. A wee bit of a squabble is your use of your in the third quatrain, which should be "you're" I think. Nevertheless great write thanks for posting! |
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Re: Love Curtailed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 21st January 2006 @ 11:13:44 PM AEST
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Lovely write, Paul... passionately written....
(3rd line, 4th verse...your should be you're)
Lovely to see you again....
Jenni |
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Re: Love Curtailed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 22nd January 2006 @ 03:54:11 AM AEST
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| A lovely write. |
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Re: Love Curtailed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 22nd January 2006 @ 05:21:58 AM AEST
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So very, very moving Bro-
I feel your pain.. as surely as my own heartbeat..
and confident, that I know the "muse" as well-
It's unsettling for me, ((to say the least))
knowing, if only by this work,
that you've.. yet AGAIN
had to endure this "heartache."
If only humanity, as a whole, had half(!!) your strength and wisdom...
We'd surely "BE".. (and perhaps BEYOND) 'better' for it.
'Till the End Bro-
and with MUCH Love and ALL
My Admiration...
Billy
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Re: Love Curtailed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 2nd February 2006 @ 07:04:14 PM AEST
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Wiz ... I am always amazed at the positive, (yes positive) view
your poems take. Although some may see this as sad because
it's about love lost, I see your words and find a certain faith undaunted.
Right there.
Between each and every line.
Beautiful.
This was art, my friend and I am so very glad to be reading
your work again. Always a pleasure.
~Breezy |
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