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Cataclysmic Halcyon
Contributed by
SensitiveSoAbused
on
Thursday, 19th January 2006 @ 07:56:57 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Two hours until I hit the books.
Hit the wall, this page is white,
It should be black,
and I’m going
One hundred miles an hour
very slowly freaking out.
It doesn’t ***** matter what I feel
or think; I can’t trust it
and you may as well be nothing for it all.
I’m crowding my own head,
a jostling crowd in a New York subway,
make room for nothing but red lies or blue truth avoided,
but what is right; can a insane man trust his own perceptions?
I’m tired and I feel it’s all my fault.
But I always do and am I right
This is a panic onset by past experiences.
A flashback of a veteran in a jungle’s mud,
a dog with a boot mark in its head…
So I see this boot.
It’s set perfectly upon me,
a translucent film over a picture.
A déjà vu, a nightmare to scream awake from,
and I’ve seen it before.
And in all this, when I remember and want to
run not to trip and fall;
Is it a fabrication?
Why do you put up with me??
Like a burn victim at a fireshow,
this, a circus of wool and dark corners.
Your hand over mine, guiding me into the sunlit park?
I think I want to be lonely. To implode on myself in an insane solipsism.
To create a reality as cruel as I know it is.
Be happy to be miserable under white suits in dark corners.
I think I will never truly be happy until I can strip myself of all happiness…
Never climb the stairs from a moulding dungeon,
to never fall down cold stone again and again.
A cold to numb all pain of bruises
and broken bones to haphazardly perch
precariously to protect my heart…
(((Everything’s a projected ideal.)))
(((a prancing game of the mind,)))
(((swirling sandstorms of vanilla flavour delight my eyes)))
(((to protect against a stiff-armed Reich actuality...)))
[[Discrepancies of two known subjective realities, however, when faced with an obvious incommensurability, paralyze and seizure at contact like a computer faced with two differing right answers to a problem solved abstractly as opposed to algorithmically. This results in an overload of battling logical equations climaxing in a cataclysmic overheating, or ‘meltdown’ of these internal processes, reducing the ‘virtual mind’ to an equivalent of that of a severe stroke victim.]]
…and so I lie collapsed on the floor,
a coma of delightful proportions.
My eyes of glistening crystal see exactly what they want.
Like when I was a small child,
reality exudes from a theatrical imagination.
Eternally halcyon, forever safe
from myself.
[2006-01-19 14:52:21]
Copyright ©
SensitiveSoAbused
... [
2006-01-19 19:56:57]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cataclysmic Halcyon
(User Rating: 1 )
by felicitous on
Friday, 27th January 2006 @ 06:15:08 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| Fantastic poetry. Dark anguish from the soul. I've got goosebumps. |
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