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poem 8
Contributed by
Lady_Ravyn_Bloodstone
on
Saturday, 14th January 2006 @ 10:31:45 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
You promised,
Never to hurt me,
But you did.
You promised,
To never cheat on me,
But you did.
Promises,
Promises.
Must all your promises turn into lies?
I sit by candle glow,
Crying.
Wondering why,
And how,
You could ever do this to me?
How could you?
I never did anything to you,
Or did I?
Please do tell.
Your sweet promises,
You said you'd never hurt me,
Or make me cry,
But guess what,
YOU LIED!!!
Copyright ©
Lady_Ravyn_Bloodstone
... [
2006-01-14 22:31:45]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: poem 8
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 14th January 2006 @ 10:40:37 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| as for the poem topic, i believe people are all liars and its only important as to who and what they lie about. but if the poem is true, what they lied about was important. believing a snake has been good for a human as i hear it. your poem had some quality that kept me reading, i guess it was to find out how it would turn out. the ending wasnt all that good though, because it just basically restated the obvious. maybe at the end you could maybe promise him something and take the direction as to break that (to continue the cycle) or follow through with it. your word choice in this was extremely limited and i think if all of your poems are like this than you are really limiting your talent to using the same words in the same ways. |
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Re: poem 8
(User Rating: 1 )
by sassydovebird on
Saturday, 14th January 2006 @ 11:31:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow great feelings here,,betrayal,confusion as to his intensions,his lies..what a cad he is..great flow,wonderful feelin and insights..great job Lady_Ravyn_Bloodstone |
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