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Need

Contributed by mazeof_darkness on Saturday, 14th January 2006 @ 09:20:31 PM in AEST
Topic: MiscPoems

Fighting desperation, I lack all control.
Needing you, Never having you.
I don't want to let go.

Your in my mind, my heart,
I want you,
Never to be so.

Linger, wander, stay forever.
In my blood you've begun to flow.

Copyright © mazeof_darkness ... [ 2006-01-14 21:20:31]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Need (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Saturday, 14th January 2006 @ 10:21:38 PM AEST
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this was a good poem for the simple fact that you twisted a few things so that it would not be the usual overplayed crap that many writers post here. your style is a bit choppy for the rhythm and that makes you different than many writers here. your choices of words are also different than most. the subtle rhymes were a nice touch. some of this i would have changed for my own poem, but i think overall you did this justice enough, it was worth the comment. keep up the good work.

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