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Drowning
Contributed by
Wolf-Isa
on
Sunday, 8th January 2006 @ 04:52:11 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
My heart is soaked, dipped in water made of liquid nails and glass
Time stands still while the calendar strips away it's pages
I shiver in the wind as it tries to knock me over
Into the lake of loveless comfort and deaf lies
No rope to grab anymore because no ships sail in this sea
No one to save me from falling
Ice grips my hands and pulls me downward
The air is spilt from my lungs
For all the precious pretty once known to all never learned to swim
And though I stay floating for a short moment
I soon plumit beneath the shadows
Held onto by desperate serpents and sharks together
And ripped apart by the fishermen who only want my worth
If I'm drowning
And the water is swallowing me whole
Then where will I be
On the otherside of the spectrum
And if I'm drowning
And no one cares
Does it have significance
The precious pretty never learned to swim
No one taught it how
So if I'm drowning
And I lost my faith
Is it my fault?
Copyright ©
Wolf-Isa
... [
2006-01-08 04:52:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Drowning
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetryfreak13 on
Sunday, 8th January 2006 @ 11:17:15 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is an amazingly good poem. (at least better than the stuff i write) It reminds me of me!! |
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Re: Drowning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Sunday, 8th January 2006 @ 11:56:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I do very much like the last three lines... very, very well said.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Drowning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fernanda_F_Rocha on
Sunday, 8th January 2006 @ 12:31:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very emotional piece... excellent imagery... well written!
Congratulations :) |
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Re: Drowning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 9th January 2006 @ 07:19:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This poem worked for me,such a dreadful sense of hopelessness......haunting. |
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Re: Drowning
(User Rating: 1 )
by Suit_Of_Armor on
Tuesday, 10th January 2006 @ 09:26:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I love your imagery! I can relate to this poem, also. I like how you used the metaphore of drowning. I espescily liked the line, "Held onto by desperate serpents and sharks together
And ripped apart by the fishermen who only want my worth" It really has really wonderful imagry. This poem is really well done. I would give it an A+, but, I'm no teacher. ^_^
(I know I can't spell)
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