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Beneath this Tree
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Tuesday, 3rd January 2006 @ 04:51:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I'm a little numb
from pillows in my head
i sleep 'til i become
a body close to dead
Shouldn't i be gone by now?
A swinging silhouette
Beneath this tree i'm found
with a dying cigarette
The dawn is now aflame
and i rest above the cloud
A smoke's become my name
in this misery i've found
just one more
twenty two or three
i sat here once before
beneath my friend disease
I long for just a night
without the shaking please
it's just i can't decide
whether to be free...
dw
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2006-01-03 16:51:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Beneath this Tree
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 3rd January 2006 @ 05:04:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very beautiful write
michelle |
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Re: Beneath this Tree
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mangos on
Tuesday, 3rd January 2006 @ 07:00:39 PM AEST
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that was really a special write
nice job here |
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Re: Beneath this Tree
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kayden on
Tuesday, 3rd January 2006 @ 08:10:34 PM AEST
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This was a really good write i can tell that you put some thought into writing this...
No sudden turns or twists
it just flows with it self
AWESOME |
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Re: Beneath this Tree
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 4th January 2006 @ 05:03:35 AM AEST
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Great use of expression here Dwayne, and good to see a new post from you! I see you've grown even more since your last post, which is saying alot, as your work was always impressive to read. Emotive piece; keep it up.
Scorp. |
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Re: Beneath this Tree
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 4th January 2006 @ 03:46:03 PM AEST
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As always you never disappoint ur reader. An emotional and very well written piece by u Dwayne. Very well thought out. I can't pick out my fav. line cos it's all good. Well done.
I hope things are good and well with u my dear friend.
love n hugs,
~sue~ |
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Re: Beneath this Tree
(User Rating: 1 )
by weepingprophet on
Thursday, 5th January 2006 @ 01:09:00 AM AEST
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I am going to be extremely presumptious. From the beginning works of you there have been not so subtle indications of drug addiction and an account from the latest of your work would place you at an appropriet stage of revolt. Everytime I read your words, so neatly printed on this screen, I feel them like the flames of a wildfire as though they were alive. Some of your work screams uncontrollably and I begin to feel you bleeding into it, through it. Other pieces are weeping, drenched in the sorrows of this world and your life. This piece though, it contains an emotion, a passion so uniquely different. You have written of indecision before, you have progressed enough in your life to taste the feeble offerings of good. But this is so torrid with the story of you, such a marvel of your misery. The final decision and if not for love, for what. But assuming that this piece is about giving up drugs and all the other material highs in your life I say do it. What greater cost is there but the betrayal of yourself. Everyday knowing that you could be more and that you are choosing to dwell in a state so far below you. What is worse is feeling that this state is not below you.
Let me tell you Dwayne, you are an artist, it is seeping out of your pores. You explode into every word that you write and ignite such a passionate image that it can burn my eyes. You are above drugs, you are above hurt and you are strong enough to revolt against your addictions, whatever they may be.
~weepingprophet |
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