|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
Memory
Contributed by
Poser
on
Tuesday, 27th December 2005 @ 02:04:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The memory of you
crying in my arms
torments my brain.
The tears burn my skin.
What do they symbolize?
Are they a ploy
to get me closer...
to see if I shall weep too?
Do I remind you
too much of him?
As you lie in my arms
A single tear roles
down my cheek
exploding onto your nose.
You look up,
We gaze into each others
eyes, wondering why?
I cannot hold your gaze for long,
for soon my eyes will be filled with
the watery sadness,
I know that
your love will not be mine for long,
it can't be, you still yurn for him.
I just want to be able to hold you
for at least one more night.
Copyright ©
Poser
... [
2005-12-27 14:04:16] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Memory
(User Rating: 1 ) by Butterflygirl40 on
Tuesday, 27th December 2005 @ 02:08:51 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
very sad but this was a very good poem! |
|
|
Re: Memory
(User Rating: 1 ) by BEBE on
Tuesday, 27th December 2005 @ 02:56:46 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
aww that is really sad, i don know how it feels to be in your situation, but i can sortof imagine how it feels through your words. Great emotional piece!
BEBE |
|
|
Re: Memory
(User Rating: 1 ) by Sophie_Taylor on
Tuesday, 27th December 2005 @ 06:31:58 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
great write
powerfull and meaningfull
sophie xoxo |
|
|
Re: Memory
(User Rating: 1 ) by NoSaint on
Tuesday, 27th December 2005 @ 06:38:29 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
bittersweet well written
NS |
|
|
Re: Memory
(User Rating: 1 ) by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 28th December 2005 @ 07:48:31 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Not at all bad. I like the first and second stanzas best, I think (though of course it doesn't do to slice and dice a poem), and the image of the third stanza is also good.
I do feel that the lines
for soon my eyes will be filled with
the watery sadness,
are a bit weak; perhaps start out with something other than the words " eyes filled with _____" (a very often-used structure to describe tears), and a better image will suggest itself.
Keep writing, and have fun!
Andrew |
|
|
Re: Memory
(User Rating: 1 ) by allie_07 on
Friday, 18th March 2011 @ 01:58:37 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
heartbreaking, yet very moving. |
|
|
|