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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	05-November 15:07:58 AEST

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untittled

Contributed by xXxmegsxXx on Sunday, 25th December 2005 @ 03:05:14 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

can you hear
the angels crying
from the pain
of our love dying?
I had my chance
of happiness
but now it's gone
i feel such sadness

i lost your trust
with something worthless
trying to get
it back is pointless
i broke your heart
and now i pay
for my mistake
everyday

as the rain
falls down on me
i know i will
never be happy
without your love
i feel dead
so shoot me now
right in the head

there's nothing more
that i can do
except say that
i still love you
and pray one day
your heart will mend
and your sadness will
come to an end

i just wanted
you to know
i never meant
to hurt you so
and now i must
say goodbye
for it is my time
to die

Copyright © xXxmegsxXx ... [ 2005-12-25 15:05:14]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: untittled (User Rating: 1 )
by RAGEyourDREAM on Sunday, 25th December 2005 @ 06:09:07 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

The first stanza sounds like you had something really special, and then goes down and seems like it was a silly teenage love. Try having the same strength throughout the entire poem, because at the end it's your time to die seems a bit extreme.

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