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Tonight, I Dine Alone
Contributed by
Aquaelius
on
Thursday, 22nd December 2005 @ 10:38:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Serve up my soul, I have an dark apetite.
A craving for blood, a dark pit inside.
Slowly let the knife pass...
Pour out spirit into a champagne glass.
It's dark in here, I know it is.
My hands still clutch what little hair is left.
I've ripped away all that I recognize.
Bared skin, bared soul.
Serve up my heart, I need to feel pain.
Black sludge pumping, constricting viens.
Squeeze the choked mass...
Pour out spirit into a champagne glass.
I feel cold, a stanger stares back at me.
Streaks of hate are all that stain me.
I've cut out everything I don't like about me.
Oh bared heart... can't bear to be me.
Copyright ©
Aquaelius
... [
2005-12-22 22:38:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tonight, I Dine Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by jessejames on
Thursday, 22nd December 2005 @ 10:46:38 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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good write keep exploring
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Re: Tonight, I Dine Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 24th December 2005 @ 09:31:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Always good to try out new venues...This is a bit of an abstract, dark piece, and I like the train of thought here. I hope you pursue other styles of poetry in the future, and don't be afraid to open up even more next time, and dig a little deeper. You have a creative edge that needs to be further explored : )
Nicely done.
Scorp. |
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Re: Tonight, I Dine Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Saturday, 7th January 2006 @ 01:41:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I myself am always in favour of branching out. This was a good poem. It was very visually descriptive, and you didn't necessarily use any cliches, or at least not the way I'm used to seeing them being used. This was a good experimentation, and I can only suggest to venture out even further, as I'm sure the second time around in this subject matter will be even deeper of a write. Well done. |
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Re: Tonight, I Dine Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 12th January 2006 @ 05:34:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very gory but well written.
huggs,
emy |
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