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Agony

Contributed by Poser on Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 10:10:27 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

I sit here in agony,
While you are beaming
with pleasure.
I sit here going crazy,
While you think
about him.

My first thought of you
is filled with love,
but the second isn't
so pleasant.

The pain in my heart
is not because of your
hate,
it is for my neglect.

Do we have to start over
from the beginning?
Or can we have it
the way it was,
when the thought
of me
brought you quivering
to your knees?

Copyright © Poser ... [ 2005-12-21 22:10:27]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Agony (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Thursday, 22nd December 2005 @ 05:06:53 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Fine work, and sure to improve with time, as long as you're not afraid of writing reams of matter.

Some of the line breaks need work, but those of the last stanza are excellent, methinks.

Good luck, and welcome to the site!

Andrew

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