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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 05:22:29 AEST

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Hidden Thoughts

Contributed by justin200587 on Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 09:12:19 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

Your beauty is something one cannot behold,
Your laugh can make all the birds sing,
Your eyes so perfect you could say that they’re gold,
A smile from you means everything.

Your confidence carries with you as you speak,
Your charm glows with the moon in its transcendence,
You're just as compassionate as you are meek,
Your elegance handed from Venus’ descendants.

The day I met you was beyond compare,
In my fondest memories it will sit,
So I desired to make you aware,
That I will never forget it.

The years will pass and flowers will wilt,
And memories will cease to be,
But I hope you’ll remember the friendship we built,
Please say you’ll never forget me.

Not one word you speak has ever been broken,
And my affections for you will remain true,
It makes no matter in which form it’s spoken,
Just as long as you know I love you.

Copyright Â© justin200587 ... [ 2005-12-21 21:12:19]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Hidden Thoughts (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 09:57:23 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

touching post. you had some excellent rhymes in this, and some excellent verses to work with. i would say this would even be worthy of being read by her (that is if this is true). =] i particularly like the first stanza's rhymes the best, because ive never seen rhymes using those words, actually. hard to believe, too. your wilt/built was also nice. with the rhymes its nice to see words thrown in there that arent just one syllable rhymes, that is what is usually used by many authors. your tone was amazing, because it did seem to have that love atmosphere to it. keep up the good work, and welcome to the site =]

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