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Skinny
Contributed by
SweetHeartDealer
on
Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 02:56:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
self-harmpoetry
|
Harsh words raining down upon her
Ugly words she begins to believe
Until she's starving for perfection
Always wanting a little more
Existing a little less
Want food? Look in the mirror
At her concave stomach
Her paper thin flesh
Bones to cut glass
But she can't stop
She'll never stop
Until she can dance between the raindrops of a downpour
Copyright ©
SweetHeartDealer
... [
2005-12-21 14:56:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Skinny
(User Rating: 1 )
by marie on
Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 03:32:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| wonderful. i especially like the last line "Until she can dance between the raindrops of a downpour" very creative |
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Re: Skinny
(User Rating: 1 )
by ButchHoward on
Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 04:57:22 PM AEST
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Nicely written. I like the way you make the structure of the poem itself get skinnier as it is read. It also lends insight into the thought process of those who suffer from this terrible disease.
Butch |
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Re: Skinny
(User Rating: 1 )
by TREBOR on
Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 05:22:28 PM AEST
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Brilliant images
Concave stomach and paper thin flesh are great
Find the last line ambiguous . It suggests hope but taken literally she will have to be so thin to dance in that way |
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Re: Skinny
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Wednesday, 21st December 2005 @ 08:32:35 PM AEST
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| nice poem , |
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Re: Skinny
(User Rating: 1 )
by humboldtsweetie33 on
Thursday, 29th December 2005 @ 02:48:45 AM AEST
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| wow this is an amazing poem and i love it!!! great great job |
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Re: Skinny
(User Rating: 1 )
by princess_of_pain on
Monday, 16th January 2006 @ 10:16:00 PM AEST
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| love it. especially the last line |
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Re: Skinny
(User Rating: 1 )
by GurLG0nEWr0ng on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 11:42:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| so beautiful. |
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