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Youth of Today
Contributed by
chibimiroku
on
Monday, 19th December 2005 @ 09:59:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
We run, we jump
We play, we scream
We yell, we whine
We’ve learned to complain about uneven teams.
We study, we learn
We trudge to our schools
We hitch rides on our way back
We’ve learned to use others as tools.
We walk, we jog
We drive in big rings
We take long shopping trips
We’ve learned to buy unneeded things.
We lie, we cheat
We engage in shady dealings
We hurry, we demand
We’ve learned not to care
For other people’s feelings.
We learn to read, we learn to write
We learn to walk straight, we learn to stand tall.
We learn how to think, we learn how to talk
We’ve, in the end, learned nothing at all.
Copyright ©
chibimiroku
... [
2005-12-19 21:59:16] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Youth of Today
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Monday, 19th December 2005 @ 10:08:00 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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excellent ending. of course what i have learned from all the whining is the person doing it will get sent to the hospital. but so true with the first stanza, being on a soccer team its insane how much that happens. as for the style of this, i think you showed elements of originality and being able to use a twist and that using so much anaphora downplays that and the rhythm. i think you can also keep a more strict rhyme scheme together. |
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Re: Youth of Today
(User Rating: 1 ) by GAMEchief on
Monday, 8th January 2007 @ 03:56:58 PM AEST (User
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Well, while I do tend to complain about uneven teams, I do not use others as tools, buy unneeded things, or disregard other people's feelings. If I ever did any of those things (especially the first and last), I'd feel so guilty I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
Maybe I've learned something. This poem makes me feel good about myself, though. |
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Re: Youth of Today
(User Rating: 1 ) by thefemalemind on
Monday, 8th January 2007 @ 04:25:41 PM AEST (User
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wow. actually i think this is pretty good.
For me is pretty much true...
nice job:)
-tfm |
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Re: Youth of Today
(User Rating: 1 ) by stephiesan on
Monday, 8th January 2007 @ 06:36:14 PM AEST (User
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Nice Poem. It's really sad though, but I think that you are really good at writting poetry. Thanks for sharing. |
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