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This Will Make Absolutely No Sense
Contributed by
Jyssvw22
on
Sunday, 18th December 2005 @ 08:57:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Keep very steady
Don’t rock the boat
Shift your weight
Breathe from the inside of your throat
Deep in the bowels
Of the soggy lagoon
A cave lay hidden
Buried by the silence in bloom
This will be your new home
Far from civilization
Amongst only trees and vegetation
A biosphere
Dependant on procreation
Enter here
Or take your chances in the open
The entrance is cloaked
By three pillars of contiguous smoke
Raising the skin from under your coat
Whisper the code-
And the mechanism loads
The locks unravel
And the doorway is exposed
Take a step inside
Pitch blackness decimated by a glowing torch
The staircase point downwards
Towards the center of its soul
Deeper and deeper you walk
Under the ocean
The weight of the world is felt
Towards no end
Deeper and deeper
You walk
__
_
Copyright ©
Jyssvw22
... [
2005-12-18 20:57:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This Will Make Absolutely No Sense
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 20th December 2005 @ 02:18:49 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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*Disagrees with what the title claims*
I think it makes sense, and oddly enough, it reminds me (in a very weird way) of some thoughts I've penned recently (posted and otherwise). I like the non-ending here too, which normally I wouldn't like a poem that doesn't have a definite finish, but it serves its purpose well here, I think. Good write, with some good imagery as well.
Scorp. |
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Re: This Will Make Absolutely No Sense
(User Rating: 1 )
by MrJeans on
Monday, 26th December 2005 @ 01:52:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Makes sense to me.
Some great imagery!
Seems like someones
descent into their own lonely
hell. One that they created maybe?
I like this. Keep it up!
Mr. |
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