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Pornographic purity
Contributed by
desolated_denial
on
Sunday, 18th December 2005 @ 02:06:21 AM in AEST
Topic:
dedicatedpoems
|
The tearing glow becomes her,
and the heart's grime is only to be melted
You held the heart of the heartless
with blood-stained hands ...
... and you didn't notice
She stands in a corner,
with only your picture in mind
A dissapointment to most, but to you ...
A line of steel machines,
run by multi-colored lights that are conditioned to control ...
Your name comes up
A picture of a smile, of your smile
A rainbow only has so many colors
but infinite possibilities
and nothing is oppurtune
Only an intant,
the instant of sleep is hastened,
only so I can wake up to the thought of you once more
Copyright ©
desolated_denial
... [
2005-12-18 02:06:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pornographic purity
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 7th April 2006 @ 08:50:16 AM AEST
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Re: Pornographic purity
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 7th April 2006 @ 10:26:13 AM AEST
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This poem was a little to hard to follow. Some parts of this poem are well written. However what’s well written seems to be out of place, further hiding your intent. The reader is not sure what you’re talking about and leaves them confused. Perhaps clarifying the poems goal in the write would make things more understandable. Also, the poem’s title is great, it grabs attention. Keep on writing, you are on a good track.
~D.S. Hammoulton~
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