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Tears of Elation
Contributed by
MsLindaLou
on
Sunday, 18th December 2005 @ 12:55:12 AM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
|
I do not comprehend.
How so much revulsion, still exists in this world.
We all.
need to be thankful. And joyous that we have a life to live.
A blanket for warmth, a thought to smile at, a person to love.
Life is excessively short, to be concentrating on the portentous things.
So why do you complain?
Why do you bring more attention to the negative factors in your life?
Why can you not just grin,
and let situations pass, even once in a while?
because
The only tears, we should cry, are ones of elation.
Copyright ©
MsLindaLou
... [
2005-12-18 00:55:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tears of Elation
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Sunday, 18th December 2005 @ 02:20:18 AM AEST
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| ::smiles:: now that is something worth pondering, and the sad part about it is ive pondered it for years and still have not changed my ways. as for the poem itself, the line breaks and spaces made this poem seem excessively long and draw out the meaning, which i think this shouldnt draw out the meaning for that particular tone. being short and compacted will make an impact with power with a few stanzas. your style is an interesting one, you use an interesting balance of word choice and how you sprinkle them into the poem is also of interest in itself. your ending was a good sort of twist to the poem. as for your message in this poem, i dont see if very effectively portrayed, because there are many out there that dont think life is such a great thing to have, and those are the ones that this poem applies to along with others. in places your word choice seems to work against you as well, because it seems you are looking down on the ones you speak of or just seem to attack them with vocabulary and the thought that it is so easy to do what this poem wants the reader to do. the rhetorical questions also arent worded as effectively as they need to be to actually make me think anything that pertains to me personally. so they are of no use in that way to me. i think if you could add some of your own life to this, it could bring more to the table with you as a person experiencing this way of life, because this poem isnt novel in the message, and your style and word choice are the only things that set this message apart from the other messages that scream to be heard. your ending, that is the best in this, and i think if you used more bits like that throughout this piece it would be more poetic. your beginning was also good in itself, because it brings about a question in the reader. your voice was heard throughout this, but the question is: will the readers, will i, listen. |
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Re: Tears of Elation
(User Rating: 1 )
by Phantomdream on
Sunday, 18th December 2005 @ 02:54:34 PM AEST
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| True to the last word. After we all, the period seems offf to me. |
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