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I'll Be Thair.
Contributed by
moon_light
on
Thursday, 15th December 2005 @ 08:21:09 AM in AEST
Topic:
FamilyPoems
|
Don't worry its ok
close your eyes.
please dont cry.
it will be alright.
all you have to do
get thru the night
when you wake.
hear ill be.
my face youll see.
dont worry
no tears should fall.
your freinds you cant call.
your worlds falling down.
i promis you.
when you turn around.
i'll be their.
plese commit so i can finnish
Copyright ©
moon_light
... [
2005-12-15 08:21:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I'll Be Thair.
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 15th December 2005 @ 08:30:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very beautifull as is.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: I'll Be Thair.
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Thursday, 15th December 2005 @ 08:33:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Not bad. I have no tips as I feel I am not that talented to say how to write...I think this read well...maybe another reader can help
I know what you mean about writers block....I have not written for ages
Anyway so far so good. moon_light..coni |
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Re: I'll Be Thair.
(User Rating: 1 )
by hellsfallenangel on
Thursday, 15th December 2005 @ 11:37:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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hey jenn this is a good write. i guess i wasnt there when u needed me most. and im sorry for it. well i cant think of anything for u 2 add cause it sounds really good to me. try listening to some music that might help. well g2g baby whining and yes ill tell her u said hi ttyl bye bye
DEMON |
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Re: I'll Be Thair.
(User Rating: 1 )
by gah_veh on
Friday, 16th December 2005 @ 05:14:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| hey jen great write i think you should just write whats on your mind because nothing and i mean nothing sounds better than the truth. see ya later sis |
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Re: I'll Be Thair.
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Thursday, 5th January 2006 @ 10:06:52 AM AEST
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I think that this is great the way it is, but that is me if you think that you should keep going then do so. I have no tips but i think it is beautiful.
christina |
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Re: I'll Be Thair.
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Tuesday, 24th January 2006 @ 11:26:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This has such a beautiful sentiment to it. I don't know if you need to expand it. It seems to be a complete message. But only you know if it's finished or not! For you are the owner of this poetic work ta-da! :o) Catch ya later, moon, and (of course) peace to ya.
Thumps ;o) |
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