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False Girl Runs for no one
Contributed by
RedknivesinWhiteLies
on
Friday, 9th December 2005 @ 06:01:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
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You always lied and in me you lessoned
The False Girl in the Sun
Not like all the things i've seen
The Falso girls having fun
I feel a bullet slide past my eyes
The False girls smoking gun
Though i may die i will forever remember
The False girl never runs
Copyright ©
RedknivesinWhiteLies
... [
2005-12-09 18:01:04] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: False Girl Runs for no one
(User Rating: 1 ) by trini on
Friday, 9th December 2005 @ 07:14:44 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very good. the concept was really well thought out. i liked it. keep on posting. and keep up the good work.
-trini |
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Re: False Girl Runs for no one
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Friday, 9th December 2005 @ 10:22:10 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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your first line and fifth line are the only things worth speaking of in this post. for such a strong description, the reader expects to read a strong poem, and this wasnt one. this is kind of too vague to make a point, or one worth reckoning with. forced rhyming seemed to plague this. i think with more lines like your first and fifth incorporated into your writing, it would be better. |
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Re: False Girl Runs for no one
(User Rating: 1 ) by jdawg on
Friday, 16th December 2005 @ 07:40:49 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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the last comment i disagree with.. i like this poem. yet such a short poem, it reaches out. keep up the great work.. best of wishes
~Justin L.~ |
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Re: False Girl Runs for no one
(User Rating: 1 ) by 8kiwi8 on
Monday, 19th December 2005 @ 07:50:15 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i like it being so short, it sort of symoblises falseness...
good poem and i totally agree with the topic |
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