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creative track
Contributed by
lostrelic
on
Tuesday, 6th December 2005 @ 03:26:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
searching for answears running from thuth this is the way of harvesting the youth
keep them guessing surrounded by lies make them all wanting to die
soldiers in training thats all i see a violent society created by tv
goverments throwing your future away only worried about the cost you will pay
no career goals no true plans pick a trade become a man
join the army and be all you can be kill a man get school for free
waive your flag take the land wash your hands in the blood of the land
build your towers inslave the poor give them drugs let them score
sell sex make teenagers your lust while your 40 living in disgust
drive your car pollute the air let the wind blow threw your hair
drop your litter spread it on the ground just remember you wear the crown
wallow in spite feed off your greed you arnt the needy you can succeed
knife in the back career advance this is the way you glide on the track
bury your soul empty and lost surrounded by glam you have just lost
Copyright ©
lostrelic
... [
2005-12-06 15:26:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: creative track
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th December 2005 @ 03:32:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A poem that reminds us that we've all been there and done that, yet good 2 see it still recognized by another generation, and the beat goes on from the first 2 the 21 century, why am i not surprised? great peice good continuity.
Ben |
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Re: creative track
(User Rating: 1 )
by CaseyRedman on
Tuesday, 6th December 2005 @ 03:44:46 PM AEST
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| good poem nice job |
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Re: creative track
(User Rating: 1 )
by CaseyRedman on
Tuesday, 6th December 2005 @ 03:45:27 PM AEST
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| nice poem |
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Re: creative track
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dark_and_Cold on
Tuesday, 6th December 2005 @ 04:49:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I liked this poem, you had a great message and some great lines, but it seems very rough, if you reworked it and made the structure and flow a little tighter I'd be even better.
Brandin |
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Re: creative track
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Tuesday, 6th December 2005 @ 05:52:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Many great lines here. Some misspellings though. I liked your message. Peace to you, Laura |
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Re: creative track
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 02:54:00 AM AEST
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made many great points about the world we live in today. I appreciate your honesty and style
Michelle |
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Re: creative track
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 03:26:52 AM AEST
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An open and honest write penned so well Reagan. I like the message u bring across to ur reader. Well done and keep on penning.
*hugs*
~sue~ |
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Re: creative track
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Wednesday, 7th December 2005 @ 08:44:14 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| blimey you had, had a bad day!!! good read,, couple of speelin mishtakes, :-) |
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